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Disintergation.
Contributed by
cashfan1
on
Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 04:41:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
Bitter wind, raw and uncompromising
Cuts a swathe across hillsides and valley,
Snorts like an angry boar at the outer reaches of the moor.
The yellow lines of a low sun
Are stencilled on trees and hard earth,
A fire without warmth.
The day has matured quickly
Into an old man, solitary and friendless.
The trees are bent into frightening shapes,
Mocked by the joyless smirk of the wind.
The river flows a mournful song, the valley murmurs
Under the strain of advancing twilight.
The sun has now been dismissed,
The shadows emerge into the dregs of the draining valley.
Day slinks away beyond rocky escarpments,
The hills have disintegrated.
Copyright ©
cashfan1
... [
2011-01-27 04:41:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Disintergation.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voyager on
Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 11:51:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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First off my fav. lines:
"The yellow lines of a low sun
Are stencilled on trees and hard earth,
A fire without warmth."
Pure brilliance of referencing.
Then came...
"The river flows a mournful song"
Great line!
Over all I could say this was a great poem from an entropic point of view. good perspective. Well done. |
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Re: Disintergation.
(User Rating: 1 )
by huwbeauty on
Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 03:13:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Another great write, It's always a pleasure to read your work and I await your next post with anticipation. |
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Re: Disintergation.
(User Rating: 1 )
by kleetas on
Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 04:57:10 PM AEST
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| 'stenciled" is a great word ,but in reference to this application, the word sticks out like a sore thumb or shiney metal object glistening in the sun..it seems to juxtapose the serene swoopy thoughts of nature "stencilling" an Un-natural landscape with man's confinement of commitment...nah,,nevermind...jus rambling... |
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Re: Disintergation.
(User Rating: 1 )
by duff on
Friday, 28th January 2011 @ 02:02:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Another stunning piece of writing my friend. You capture a setting in brilliant form taking the reader for a ride through colors and elements. Awesome imagery like always. Nicely done
duff |
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