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The Shadow Man
Contributed by
jessb3
on
Saturday, 29th January 2011 @ 06:46:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The dark man stands near
Gone for so long
His sudden return
Breaks me
His hat pulled down
Darkening his face
His long black jacket
Hiding his purpose
The shadow man
Lying in wait
Whispering in the shadows
Filling my head
Filling my soul
With darkness
Poisoning me
Torturing me
Grinning at me
My mind writhes in agony
Trying to ignore
Trying to escape
His words
Copyright ©
jessb3
... [
2011-01-29 06:46:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Shadow Man
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th January 2011 @ 07:10:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Impressive write, haunting, and really left me feeling uneasy. Keep it up.
Farewell,
Alice |
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Re: The Shadow Man
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xnoybis on
Sunday, 30th January 2011 @ 05:56:29 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This reads like a less-than-nickel Noir novel. Sorry (and no offense. I've written plenty just like it).
The problem is, I think, it lacks emotion. It comes off as a cold attempt, you know? Scripted like. Don't think it, feel it. |
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