|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Ashes
Contributed by
Dibi
on
Wednesday, 27th April 2011 @ 06:05:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
Everything inside of me is burning
all I am and use to be is gone
so i fly away, up into the distance
but the higher i get up, the further down Ill fall.
I wont descend, Im too far.
Everything inside of me has burnt.
I am nothing but ashes.
And i still fly with the wind.
Copyright ©
Dibi
... [
2011-04-27 18:05:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Ashes
(User Rating: 1 )
by hacktastic on
Wednesday, 27th April 2011 @ 10:18:44 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
What I get from this is you have gone through a bunch of hard stuff, and when you try to get out of it, you only suffer more.
In the last line "And I still fly with the wind," is that saying, despite this, you are happy in the misery of it?
I had some ideas to make your lines a more fluid meter. See below.
All inside of me is burning
All I am and was is gone
So I fly into the distance
but higher climbs mean further falls
I won't descend, I am too far.
All inside of me has burnt.
I am nothing but ashes.
And still I fly in the wind.
|
|
|
Re: Ashes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voice of the Silent on
Thursday, 28th April 2011 @ 11:15:11 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Great poem
I'm felt this way before maybe not just like you but I believe similar just the same
Keep writing
-Voice |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Site Help
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
