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The First Day of My Life
Contributed by
thefacade
on
Thursday, 6th October 2011 @ 05:51:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
The illuminated glow of a half-dead screen
At the latest hour I care to discuss
Miscommunication and apathy our morning drug
The next morning, awake to catch the bus
On the first, and last, day of my life
You wait on one side of the window pane
One hour of impatience and my first kiss
Sad face, goodbye speech, forgotten name
And never forget your eyes until
As God strikes me, upon his will,
Once more, pained in mind on the bus,
Its not me, honey. Its you Its us.
As, on that bus, I take my seat
Too fragile to know, but to rinse and repeat.
Copyright ©
thefacade
... [
2011-10-06 05:51:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The First Day of My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by 2gonad on
Thursday, 6th October 2011 @ 06:04:18 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I liked it, the rhyming scheme changed towards the end which meant i read it totally differently the second time around. The imagery was strong and it was a situation I could easily relate to. |
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Re: The First Day of My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 6th October 2011 @ 10:40:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC.
good work.
Blessings,
emy |
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Re: The First Day of My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 6th October 2011 @ 10:40:28 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC.
good work.
Blessings,
emy |
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