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Will She Ever Notice Me?
Contributed by
bagsFoSho
on
Monday, 14th May 2012 @ 06:41:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
A fresh start
A new beginning
Frozen in time
She catches my eye
Her beauty is unique
Her confidence complete
My mind is racing
Harder to breathe
Struggling to find words
I remain meek
Will she ever notice me?
Copyright ©
bagsFoSho
... [
2012-05-14 18:41:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Will She Ever Notice Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by richard2 on
Monday, 14th May 2012 @ 07:28:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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For a first attempt, not bad. On the subject of your poem, been there my friend. You never know what is in the future, The best advice I have received was from a friend of mine, she said just be yourself and let your light shine. I took it and It's been shining back from the love of my life for almost 40 years.
Good Luck
Richard2 |
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Re: Will She Ever Notice Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Monday, 14th May 2012 @ 09:31:07 PM AEST
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| Short but you've captured the feeling well. Remember this though if I may make a suggestion. A shot , my friend , is not something that is given it's something you take. If you wait for her to Give You the shot she'll be far to distracted by all the other guys around her who are taking the shot. Girls are like the lottery... you'll never win if you can't make yourself go up to the counter and at least try to buy a ticket. lol. Good luck , truly , doug |
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Re: Will She Ever Notice Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on
Tuesday, 15th May 2012 @ 02:30:40 AM AEST
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| Little is more in the world of writing when each line is packed with emotion and feeling overall creating a snapshot of that moment,you have captured that moment and therefore created a connection between yourself and the reader exactly what poetry is all about. |
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Re: Will She Ever Notice Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by girish on
Wednesday, 16th May 2012 @ 10:01:21 AM AEST
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| express your love in your eyes. if she sees you she should be inspired |
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