|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Not meant to Love
Contributed by
zannihilator
on
Tuesday, 22nd May 2012 @ 05:17:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
self-harmpoetry
|
how do you know what happiness is
how do you know how to laugh
when you're only comfortable in suffering
when you only know the torture
when the torture is a devastating comfort
when dying is the only way to feel alive
when your own blood and terror keeps you tied to the earth
when you don't want to die, you just don't want to be alive
when there has never been comfort in the human touch
when people smiling is your own death certificate
when you sleep all day to be awake less time
leave my mind as fast as possible
im gone, theres nowhere i can go without the chatter
more aware, care less
put up with anything for a moment of nothing
die inside, die every hour of every day
pause the hatred for a night
make it inner violence
keep stirring up the negative feelings, they're the only ones left
keep stirring, prolonging bloodshed for another hour
pass out, have the dreams of self-destruction
support is no support
i love you means you're my blood and nothing else
what i want what i need are equal in terror
what i want silent in terror
closed eyes getting stabbed, can't feel it, so i can sleep for the night
i hate feeling nothing
i hate feeling everything
i can never find the middle ground
nothing laughing in hell
everything terrorizing the material world
in nothing nobody else gets hurt
in nothing nobody else can hear
saves the time of ruining anything else
everything makes it unable to love
i don't know what it is, so how could i share whatever heart i have left
if i can't even find it
i can't even listen to anyone, they all speak another language
i have always been bad at that
i have always been bad at that
pretend i know nothing so i can share nothing
don't know what to share
don't know what i'm worth, if i even am worth opening my mouth
i've always been the alien, somehow out of the loop with the universe
pretending to give a ***** about anything
when in reality i could care less about anybody
that's my problem
if i could care less about people what do i have to look forward to
people that love me don't even know me
i am expected to say and react certain ways to everything
you are satisfied, now i can go lock myself away and peacefully rot away
say hello, now i can go stab myself
happiness, i continually wonder what the true definition means
just to be baseline is a challenge in itself
i have dreams
i have the dreams
of suffering
of a slow death
of leaving this world of human skin, faces, blood, words
i don't want anymore words
i don't need anymore words
it is a daily struggle between myself and myself
the world doesn't play a part in it anymore
i am wrong, i have always been wrong
just destroy me right now
im not meant to love
just kill me
just kill me slowly
just kill me slowly without an audience as i've always had
i'm scared that people will watch me die
Copyright ©
zannihilator
... [
2012-05-22 17:17:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
