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This endless exhaustion
Contributed by
cherryamber
on
Sunday, 15th July 2012 @ 01:16:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
i'm tired, no ... not sleepy
resting my head won't help me
it's an exhaustion that isn't
defined by the words to
articulate life
it sits in my stomach
and isn't even soaked up by
the beautiful
morning light
i lit candles
so i wouldn't be left in
the dark
i pressed my head against your
chest so my organs could remember
how to beat my heart
i know even my normal motions
are slow and displaced
i count myself ready out of bed
each day
set my alarm well before six
because it takes me so long to
grow the guts to just
exist
and i cant eat, dream.. I can't
even believe
that
this will get better
there is no hope only the constant
screaming
that this will be forever
i'm too tired to be scared
that you will leave me for someone
i'm too absent minded to even care
although i want to
'cos they have well informed me of the
hell this illness has put you through
maybe once i was pretty and i had
glowing skin
now I'm wane, pale and so sickly thin
i used to have green eyes but now I can't
even see a colour behind the black
lights
My stomach aches, my legs cramp
my nerves burn me
but it's the only level of
feeling
my body can seem to create
i feel like i'm on some medicine
that has turned this gorgeous world
into a rotten waste
and my mind; which use to read, and study
and write
can no longer put two words in a row
a page would take a week to even read
...not to absorb though
I don't even have the feelings to hate
myself
or try to end my life
I'm convinced I deserve this suffering
and to leave I have no right
It's not pain; agony, I don;t know
there's no words that are right
it's just exhaustion
that isn't restored by a long
dreamy night
i don;t want to die because I used
to adore laying by your
side
and i remember I once had a purpose
a soul, and a longing
for life
and next to me you lay, and I hold
your hand so hard my wrist is about to break
because I'm worried if I let go
I will drift away
to a place where I don't exist
and
I will be forever forced
to stay.
Copyright ©
cherryamber
... [
2012-07-15 01:16:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This endless exhaustion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 15th July 2012 @ 02:54:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Really emotional, and it really drew me in. It's great writing as well.
Hopefully everything goes well in the end. :) |
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Re: This endless exhaustion
(User Rating: 1 )
by soulsongs on
Sunday, 15th July 2012 @ 08:07:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good job on getting all that down on paper - it is so very hard to do when you feel that way. I have found that meditation really helps me. You and your partner should try to meditate together - it could be an amazing thing - and I would love to read your poem about that experience :) I truly wish you peace. |
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Re: This endless exhaustion
(User Rating: 1 )
by richard2 on
Monday, 16th July 2012 @ 01:16:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Although it seems they will never end,
the feelings of hopeless pain and misery
will one day end, I speak as one who
struggled with them much as you, ask your
other for understanding, you have much
going for you, I had no one yet survived
to find my angel of happiness.
Keep writing, it helps.
take care
Richard |
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Re: This endless exhaustion
(User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on
Monday, 16th July 2012 @ 06:32:59 AM AEST
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Find something... anything... that changes how you feel when you are depressed, and do it. I know its hard to motivate yourself... but misery is exponential. The more of it there is... the more it compounds upon itself.
Try to keep busy and find goals to accomplish. |
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