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Imprisonment
Contributed by
Haunted_moonlight
on
Monday, 12th May 2003 @ 01:35:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I stare outside the windows
Out the windows of my soul
Looking out from the bleakness within
Into an ever brightening hole.
Im bleeding inside
My soul weeping tears
Why can't you see?
Im sitting right here
Why cant you save me?
Come open the door
Come lift my face
Lift my eyes from the floor.
Take me away
From the darkening skies
Show me a world
Where Ill be free from the lies.
Copyright ©
Haunted_moonlight
... [
2003-05-12 13:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Imprisonment
(User Rating: 1 )
by full_blur on
Tuesday, 13th May 2003 @ 03:22:18 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
You provide a very strong feeling of entrapment here. The
"Looking out from the bleakness within
Into an ever brightening hole"
is really strong.
But you also do a good job of enticing the reader into the role of savior. |
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Re: Imprisonment
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 07:24:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Can you define soul? Once you know what you are dealing with it's easy to control. |
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