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The Fututre Given
Contributed by
lonelywolf04
on
Wednesday, 2nd January 2013 @ 03:25:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
Our Reality is breaking
And Inside my head
My conscience is screaming
Asking for help before it is dead
With my mind ready to ignite
I breath in the shadow
That hides from the light
In the darkness so shallow
And see past the hopes that will never happen
And dreams that won't come true
Lies a future given
Only to a few
Cause if it can't be mine
Then others I may help to see
The sun rise over the shore line
So bright and lovely
Copyright ©
lonelywolf04
... [
2013-01-02 15:25:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Fututre Given
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Thursday, 26th February 2015 @ 07:03:51 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Okay, This is what i was trying to point out. There is a more even flow to this poem and is much easier to read. Usually this is what helps grasp a reader and keeps them reading your poem. If a reader gets confused when reading a poem, usually they will just turn the page. Very good write. Keep it up.
Wayne |
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