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Clear
Contributed by
Destined
on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 12:41:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I dont enjoy it at all
Rain pours it falls
I cry myself too sleep
Through steep clingy walls
Im tired of this place I am in
I mean I started to begin to feel
Alright
Im already scared enough as it may be
Or Just Maybe..
Its just too much to inhale
Now Exhale
And Fly
Do not even question to think or ask why
Why? 'Oh My, must I cry?'
Into the clear blue sky
Copyright ©
Destined
... [
2013-01-09 00:41:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Clear
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheDreamer on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 01:11:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very good effort. Keep writing and you'll only improve.
The Dreamer |
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Re: Clear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 08:39:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Choose a style and run with it. It seems you are mixing writing styles, but the poem is still really nice. Keep up the good writing, as was already said, you will only improve!
Keep it up.
E. Wayne Searles |
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Re: Clear
(User Rating: 1 )
by dvtpdw on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 03:02:05 PM AEST
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| I feel the truth of a poet is what brims from the soul. You stired the pot of emotions with your words. Style comes with the words you say. Very nice write. You must keep on, for in what your hand writes lies the heart of your matter. Great job. Thank you for sharing, P |
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Re: Clear
(User Rating: 1 )
by HawLeeScreams on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 06:55:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Try using some filler words to make the lines run better together. Also, the rhyming that is made in this poem is fairly good. When trying to rhyme try not using the same word because the reader will start to lose interest. But I think that it is a good start, you just need to figure out if you're going to write free style or by rhyme. Overall very good attempt. |
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