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Heartache
Contributed by
Thoughts1994
on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 06:07:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I wish we never made memories, if we weren't gonna make anymore
My eyes are burning from this crying my heart is beating sore
My head hangs heavy from the confusion, my nose is runny to
I Wish you were here to wipe it all away, just like you used to do.
My ears constantly ring with your lies,about how we would stay together
My mind can't accept that was a lie, hence why I'll love you forever
It was naive of me to actually think that my first love would never leave
I'm even more a fool now cos' in the pit of my stomach, in our love I still believe.
Copyright ©
Thoughts1994
... [
2013-01-09 18:07:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heartache
(User Rating: 1 )
by HawLeeScreams on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 06:49:36 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Besides a few grammatical and punctuation errors, I believe the overall word choice is good. I think that possibly by spacing out the lines between commas and periods it would be easier on the eyes to read. I do enjoy the overall message behind the poem though. |
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