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Finally Fade
Contributed by
MoonlitAngel
on
Friday, 21st February 2014 @ 04:04:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
silence cutting grooves in my fleeting facade
I'm not as tough as I seem
getting what you gave has led us to a place
of absolutely no esteem
frozen to the core, wasted and used up
because you're cutting me down
until my insides are out
I wish my heart would rather beat in time
to the music in my ears
so it would be as beautiful inside of me
and light the way out of here
somehow I know, if I could just keep this beat
I'd play my melody out
and finally fade out
Copyright ©
MoonlitAngel
... [
2014-02-21 16:04:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Finally Fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voices-Ghost on
Saturday, 22nd February 2014 @ 10:37:49 PM AEST
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Your melody is beautiful and your heartbeat is strong. You will not fade out, but rather transform into an even more beautiful being.
I see no rust at all...
Voices-Ghost |
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Re: Finally Fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 22nd February 2014 @ 10:39:24 PM AEST
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this is as rusty as they come, rusty in a good way, rusty façade exposed to the rain. Getting what you gave, self realization, good or bad, together at least, exchanging shouts. inside out... so many great ideas here, I've come to the conclusion you most certainly should, write more.
It wasn't a chore to read it, saying the least. the fade is merely a shade or commensurate give and take. music don't we all wonder what that is...
Thank you!
Peace! |
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Re: Finally Fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Saturday, 22nd February 2014 @ 11:28:37 PM AEST
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Rust?
never that
this is excellent,
I feel you on this flow.... |
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Re: Finally Fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 24th February 2014 @ 03:15:03 PM AEST
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You definitely have not lost your touch, Moonlit!!! I really miss reading poems on here... Thanks for sharing this...
Jenni_K |
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Re: Finally Fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 28th February 2014 @ 06:52:40 PM AEST
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Short and rough?
No, perfect and poetic!!
You've packed a lot in and allowed every line to give shape and meaning to what you are saying.
Very impressive!!
Steve |
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Re: Finally Fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 28th February 2014 @ 11:15:42 PM AEST
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beautifully heartfelt,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Finally Fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sagefairy on
Friday, 7th March 2014 @ 01:20:39 PM AEST
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Had posted a long comment b4 but it didn't go through. :-(
But ... you have aliteration and rhyme here and I like the contrast of the two stanzas.
Blessings, Saige |
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