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Red Eyed Friend
Contributed by
Senates
on
Friday, 14th March 2014 @ 12:32:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I am a beast inside the cage,
Cannot contain this inner rage,
Eating away at my mind like a cancer,
If only I could find an actual answer,
Then I look down and I found a knife,
"I wonder if I could take someones life?",
I pick up the knife and slice the air,
"What would it feel like if someone was there?",
So then I get ready for my morbid plan,
To take some ones life with these cowardly hands,
I practiced with animals and mutilated their heads,
If the devil saw the scene he would applaud in gods stead,
The day has come as day goes to night,
Only the full moon bestowed its beautiful light,
The woman was ignorant and as happy as could be,
But the darkness within my heart blacked out any light she could see,
Then I tackled her to the ground and beat her senseless,
My hand were moving on there own and just so relentless,
She was struggling to move as I was dragging her down the street,
So I kicked her in the stomach to make her stop moving her feet,
She nearly passed out from the savage blow,
Then I put her on a pole so her skin could glow,
I didnt want to miss my first human kill,
I looked into her eyes to make it more of a thrill,
I steadied my knife slowly in my hand,
There was so many openings that I could land,
A slice to the jugular to bleed her out,
That was the most simple and easiest route,
Then I sliced and stabbed to the stomach and the heart,
I just wanted to tear this person apart,
"You are going to hell for what you have done",
But who cared what she said,
She had no one,
She died on that pole with her blood starting to mend,
But I give all the thanks to my red eyed friend.
Copyright ©
Senates
... [
2014-03-14 00:32:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Red Eyed Friend
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Friday, 14th March 2014 @ 04:45:41 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Wow, nicely done. Few spelling errors, but the message is clear. The second half had a couple lines that didn't seem to work quite so well together, in terms of flow, but the vivid pictures and words make for a perfect short film within a mere poem. I wonder if this train of thought is prevalent or a common occurence? I've had the thought myself, but never in the sense past thinking what it would've been like. |
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Re: Red Eyed Friend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Friday, 14th March 2014 @ 12:40:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Previous commenter...this is NOT a prevalent theme in which people think of doing these sort of things to other people. Are you stoned?
This is a disturbing piece of writing in which I discern not a poem at all, but a cry for help. This lends me to believe the author needs psychological help.
I will say that poetry is a wonderful vehicle to express what is going on inside, and poetry does not have to be all sunshine and flowers, but this piece is indicative of a person capable of, thinking of, imagining, envisioning, delightfully relishing the act of violence and death upon another human being.
Unacceptable content, in my opinion. |
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