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Then it ends
Contributed by
pat346
on
Wednesday, 28th May 2014 @ 11:31:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
She woke up today
and put on her shoes
made her way down the stairs
and out of his room
She fights back the urge
to run to the bathroom
and let it all out
but she runs to her car
He hears the door slam
He turns to his right
where was the girl that he was
out with all night
He lifts his hands to his head
and on the side of his bed
he says "I'll never find her"
Later that night
she stops at the store
buys a bottle of scotch
cause she needs to drink more
to quell her shaking hands
she hates being alone
with steady hands she reaches
and picks up the phone
His cell phone rings,
he's drunk at a bar
drinking away her memory
so he gets in his car
and he knows he can't drive
but he makes it there
where they do it again
it just repeats over and over
it just repeats over and over
it just repeats over and over
it just repeats over and over
it just repeats...
...and then it stops.
Copyright ©
pat346
... [
2014-05-28 11:31:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Then it ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 28th May 2014 @ 12:43:30 PM AEST
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so beautifully penned; the realism in this poem
is exquisite, more please:)
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Then it ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by PreciousKitten on
Wednesday, 28th May 2014 @ 02:48:30 PM AEST
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| I love this poem, it really gets you and thinks. |
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Re: Then it ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Wednesday, 28th May 2014 @ 06:55:02 PM AEST
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A well told drama. All too familiar. Needing to be said, and read. Thank you for such a vivid visual warning. My favorite line is the last. Life does not go on forever!
You are an excellent story-teller!
softerware |
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Re: Then it ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by gypsymaddness on
Thursday, 29th May 2014 @ 04:23:46 PM AEST
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I got chills reading this.
So realistic and also melodic and then we come to the end...and it leaves that bitter ache behind.
Beautiful. Great story telling. Thanks fo sharing this poem.
Best wishes
gypsymaddness |
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Re: Then it ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 30th May 2014 @ 05:24:22 PM AEST
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Powerful and thought provoking, you did a great job of telling the story here.
The last few lines really drilled the point home.
Steve |
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Re: Then it ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Monday, 2nd June 2014 @ 08:07:46 AM AEST
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nice capture of the futility, insanity, weakness, and self-degradation of alcohol abuse. Also the portrayal of loneliness is perfectly captured. VERY well done!
Best,
Invierno |
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Re: Then it ends
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Monday, 2nd June 2014 @ 02:36:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great title for this post, and it says IT all. Enjoyed reading this, and it makes sense to what happens 99% of the time.
brew~ |
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