|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Man's World
Contributed by
marknaruka
on
Saturday, 31st May 2014 @ 12:29:26 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
He takes it all
Because he can take it all
Feed him more, feed him lies
Feed him more till the day he die
Turns it into a fuel for his burning soul
Feed him your insults feed him your doubts
Fighting the demons in him and outside is what its all about
Will never be over burdened with what hes been provided
With anger in his heart his soul be presided
Hell take it and give it to none
Every insult every curse every slur
For he knows his worth and someday the rest will concur
He takes it all and gives it to none
Him alone, in the dark and under the sun
Hell take it all
Because he knows humanity depends upon him
He will because he must
He will because there is no one else with trust
He must fight, hope and chase a dream till they are found
They are what he is, they are the air he breaths
Closest ones with the biggest doubts
He will still purse
Hell never let go of the dreams that he has
His fuel, to survive with his dreams his soul is revived
He will pursue because he only knows he can, yes he will pursue
His virtues, his instinct, his code, the fierceness of his love
To be known till eternity for sheer violence of his love
He is loved, he is ridiculed he is admired for the way he loves
Ridiculed by the people he loves , he still strides ahead
Walks the lonely path, baptized in fire, water is just a bath
Dreams cost a lot
Loneliness is the price he pays, and he pays it every single day
Once realized his soul will be redeemed
Demons in his heart is far much bigger
The fear of failure is profound
He howls grievances but there is no one to hear
Only him alone on this lonely road
That is why its a Mans World
Because he takes it all and give it to none .
Copyright ©
marknaruka
... [
2014-05-31 00:29:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Man's World
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 31st May 2014 @ 02:09:41 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
a strong write here, excellent expression of
feelings, and you are right a man should never
let go of his dreams!
hugs n' love nessa |
|
|
Re: Man's World
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 31st May 2014 @ 09:36:00 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very cool piece here! The words and the mood it evokes are identical..well done...that is not always accomplished as the poet seeks it be. You did it.
Question- are you male or female? I'm guessing male, but could be wrong...I mean, I have a fifty-fifty shot, right?
As much as I like this, I will offer a piece of advice? Please know it's given in respect for your effort here. Take some time to re-read your piece several times prior to posting. Put 'S' where they belong. Read it with a flow in mind (if you do have a flow in mind...not required for poetry of course) and structure your sentences to that end.
All in all, a very enjoyable read and I thank you for sharing this.
btw, I am a man, and I can see some of these points as totally valid.
We, as men, Do take alot sometimes. More than women? Not sure. I bear the responsibility for all money, purchases, etc in my family. While that is a pressure, I've asked myself what is the greater pressure...having to keep making the money or being one who depends on another to make the money? At least I am in control....I think I would be a wreck if I had to depend on another person to literally eat and have a roof. It takes a certain strength to carry that
lack of control as a burden.
Best,
Invierno |
|
|
Re: Man's World
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Saturday, 31st May 2014 @ 11:20:57 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is powerful. And though it speaks of the male experience, I (female) could relate to much of it. "He howls grievances but there is no one to hear".. Boy, can we agree with that!!
You have strong feelings here and speak of them well. May I offer a technique I use to you?.. not as a criticism, but a hand extended in friendship--Put your finished work aside, and read it the next day, before you publish. It is the best piece of advice anyone ever gave me, and it's helped me "see" my work as the writer, and as the reader! Your persuasive skills will make you an influential writer..and I am looking forward to reading more! Best regards, softer ware |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
