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See Me
Contributed by
deadreckoning1983
on
Friday, 5th December 2014 @ 11:32:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Love should be told as a ghost story,
A warning to all who would listen.
A foreshadowing of misery and strife.
Love is a desirable status,
Like a gunshot wound tends to be.
When has a man, or woman, ever taken poison
To cure a headache?
We subject ourselves to sacrifice,
And when the other eats out our heart we wonder,
In desperation we cry out at the abomination.
Angry, embittered bastards we slave about,
Or else we writhe into depression.
Hoping to have our humanity restored.
Like buying a book of stamps,
We could put ourselves in the post,
To the dead letter office.
No one mourns over us like they would a hero,
A child, a mother, or a dear one.
We maintain little even in death,
Without the hope of Love we wither up and vanish,
With it we burn ourselves out bright,
Alcohol to the flame.
It's seems a petty thing to request,
Love me.
To be seen and not seen through
Copyright ©
deadreckoning1983
... [
2014-12-05 23:32:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: See Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 6th December 2014 @ 07:24:51 AM AEST
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Wow! Really, really cool! It gets better as it goes along. This reminds me strongly (due to dead letter office reference and emotion) of a short story by Melville called "Bartleby" or something like that.
Great job.
Invierno |
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Re: See Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by kmec1990 on
Saturday, 6th December 2014 @ 11:05:10 AM AEST
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| My favorite to date, powerful in it's truth. Kind of speechless, unusual for me. Excellent write! |
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Re: See Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 6th December 2014 @ 12:54:20 PM AEST
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this is beautifully penned! the ending is so gently stated
yet sooo powerful, sooo much truth!
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: See Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 6th December 2014 @ 04:14:42 PM AEST
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Ain't that the truth.
I was skipping to your beat right from the first line. Way to hush the crowd with your first words. I enjoyed the love/gunshot wound comparison. Perhaps, the real lesson is to avoid love at all costs, much like a hole in the head. Hehehe. Okay, probably not, but I'm wondering.
This write is fantastic. Well crafted. Great ending.
~Scorp
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Re: See Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th December 2014 @ 01:51:39 PM AEST
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| Yep, those first two lines grab the attention, and the poem does not let go. It's the age-old question: should I just dive in, passion blazing, or test the water for rocks beneath the surface? You're right, no one mourns the loss of love, except the loser. You certainly have a way with words. (I'll not be forgetting the gunshot analogy.) Two thumbs up. |
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Re: See Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 24th February 2015 @ 01:47:00 PM AEST
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| While I am a poet who tests the waters of writers that I see occasionally I am enthralled enough to take a closer look at writers who intrigue me and you do not disappoint. |
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