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Charm My Pants Off
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Sunday, 14th December 2014 @ 01:01:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
Suddenly, it occurs to me,
Like a fool, I've fallen victim to
Sins committed for all to see,
Every contrary, resplendent hue.
Hastily written, swept up, smitten.
Drunken times and talk of quittin'
Life. Without even a fight, for spite.
Pointless to aim, nothing to gain
My existence was busted, lame.
Can't break it down to a single frame,
Where things derailed, or somehow failed,
Crawled in the casket, hammered and nailed.
Keep me nearby, but remain contained,
Casting your apathetic shade
Into a dry well that once retained,
Discarded pennies. Wishes, paid.
Now cannonballed into your moat,
Determined to ascend your talus.
Kicking fiercely, I stay afloat,
Home at last- in your brokedown palace.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2014-12-14 13:01:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Charm My Pants Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Monday, 15th December 2014 @ 10:35:50 AM AEST
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Nice poem, Scorp. It will take a number of reads to divine intent. I like the last line quite a bit. "Home at last- in your broke down palace."
Not exactly a puppy dog poem, but the good ones aren't necessarily
always feel-good poems. this is disquieting.
Well done,
Invierno
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Re: Charm My Pants Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by kmec1990 on
Thursday, 18th December 2014 @ 04:07:22 AM AEST
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Life without a fight would certainly be a delight, although most lessons learned come from that place , still elusive peace would be nice for a change nicely done
K |
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Re: Charm My Pants Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 18th December 2014 @ 02:44:31 PM AEST
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Definitely ambiguous. I've read this at least ten times now and truthfully, I don't understand it but it is definitely poetry and it makes me think of many things or what "things" they could be as I read it.
Thank you. |
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Re: Charm My Pants Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 18th December 2014 @ 03:13:14 PM AEST
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interesting and image filled, a lot of inner reflection here...
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Charm My Pants Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Friday, 19th December 2014 @ 05:32:05 AM AEST
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Into a dry well that once retained,
Discarded pennies. Wishes, paid.
These were my favorite lines. I know how you feel. We should be the wishes that matter in someones life, but somehow we ended up never being wished upon. we have to wish ourselves onto somebody elses happiness, or at least try to find happiness in a bad situation. |
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Re: Charm My Pants Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by Breezy on
Monday, 22nd December 2014 @ 09:18:18 PM AEST
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Because this ...
My existence was busted, lame.
Can't break it down to a single frame,
Where things derailed, or somehow failed,
Crawled in the casket, hammered and nailed.
Brilliant piece of writing my dear. And the title? LOVE it!
~B
^_^ |
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Re: Charm My Pants Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Wednesday, 25th February 2015 @ 04:54:27 PM AEST
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Something tells me your soul's one of incredible changes. A colored soul that on a whim can become distorted like the negative-colored night shade move in Pokemon red and blue. :)
It sounds like a spiteful relationship to me, one of sticking around just to throw the other person into a discomforted sense of home and well-being. You may not destroy them, even though you feel distraught and in distress, but by all means will you tear down the sanctity of their home. No peace and no satisfaction in your castle after wronging me. Good write here. :) |
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