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Swan Song of a Different Note
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Friday, 23rd May 2003 @ 12:35:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
years spent in shame
resentment running deep
smiling as i hide my feelings
dying to make you proud
you made it clear from the start
what you expected of me
what i really wanted
just didn't fit in
but, i loved you
and i wanted you to love me
so i played the part
to make you proud of me
i played on the team
had a different girl every week
i kept up my grades
and you never had a clue
oh, i had my secrets
desires for days
but you never saw
i locked it all away
why couldn't you just love me
no matter what i did
instead of making me live out your dreams
compensating for your failures
well i can't do it anymore
i'm sorry if i've dissapointed you
but i simply cannot go on
living your dreams for you
if i'd felt like i could tell you all of this
if i'd felt like i didn't have to hide
then maybe none of this would've happened
maybe i wouldn't have felt it would be better to die
but, this gun is more forgiving
than you will ever be
so i left this note, so you would understand
just what was wrong with me
yes dad, i love you, i wanted to make you proud
and i'm sorry i couldn't say this to your face
but dad, your little boy was gay
and he was tired of feeling like a disgrace
don't worry dad, no one else knows
i never spoke these desires out loud
please don't hate me for using your gun
i know you hate queers
but, i hope you can still look back on my life
and find a way to be proud of your son
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2003-05-23 12:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Swan Song of a Different Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by hardcoreputa on
Sunday, 25th May 2003 @ 08:03:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| wow this really spoke to me... my father always assumed i was a lesbian... but just the whole part of not living up to everyones standards and trying to live ur life for others... a great write loved it ~Apryl |
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Re: Swan Song of a Different Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by gem48 on
Monday, 26th May 2003 @ 08:29:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i think i know how you feel. Its really well written and your emotions come across really clearly. |
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Re: Swan Song of a Different Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Monday, 26th May 2003 @ 12:22:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is so good...and so sad...please don't kill yourself... |
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Re: Swan Song of a Different Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by dilapidivination on
Tuesday, 27th May 2003 @ 06:26:07 AM AEST
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| Can we as the forsaken ones, the mistaken ones who live our lies in hopes of elevation find the dignity our elders never learned to teach, and rise to a love that proclaims: screw your 'moral code', this is ME, accept me or live in your hollow antivision as alone and fogotten as you have forced me to feel...perhaps, in our minds, we already have...the greatest test of faith is that of forgiveness, a nearly impossible possibility for someone otherwise worthy of understanding...were it not for the fatal flaw of ignorance. Honey, your swan song echoes...may also the triumph of pride defeat the demons of hate. "Be a spirit...don't be no ghost" |
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Re: Swan Song of a Different Note
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Wednesday, 28th May 2003 @ 06:16:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
excellent so strong and powerfully written. The line about the gun being more forgiving is so powerful and true because very often humans aren't forgiving. Awesome man.
Bobo (Joel) |
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