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Crossroads
Contributed by
Davinah
on
Tuesday, 17th March 2015 @ 08:19:50 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
He looks at her in that peculiar way
and she knows what is coming
She knows what he will do
He will inflict all of his pain on her
He will leave her black and blue
She means nothing to him
As he says she's better off dead
and she believes his words are true
Because no one loves her enough to save her
to come and get her away from you
She suffers his madness in silence
in this house with not enough places to hide
But no one comes to find her
It's just him and her again tonight
Desperation calls for desperate measures
and she knows all the ways this could end
But she cannot live like this forever
As he stares at her in disbelief
and the gun that's in her hands
Copyright ©
Davinah
... [
2015-03-17 08:19:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Crossroads
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Tuesday, 17th March 2015 @ 05:25:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hello,
I read this poem and find that you have a way with words. However, you also somehow got lost withing your own words and I know that, because you got me lost too. I like your style you start off with in your 5 line stanzas, but you strayed off and at the end, it leaves some confusion. Try to keep the flow as much as possible. Even I am guilty of confusing people at times and lose the flow. It is a good write, but think you fogged the meaning with changing style.
Wayne |
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Re: Crossroads
(User Rating: 1 )
by Beyfoxman5 on
Tuesday, 17th March 2015 @ 07:11:56 PM AEST
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There comes a point when we are done being the nail.
But why else have we survived the hammer- over and over again?
Because we should be here.
Incredible writing.
Best,
Fox |
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Re: Crossroads
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Wednesday, 18th March 2015 @ 01:51:10 AM AEST
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I like how, for whatever reason it may be, I too was a little surprised by the end. I often think why not run from such a place, but running can only do so much. Of course it's an extreme means to solve a problem, but when you feel like your home is a prison, no place else probably feels safe. =
Good write. :) |
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Re: Crossroads
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 18th March 2015 @ 03:34:20 PM AEST
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exquisite beautiful writing on such a sad, too often actual
topic, i must say i love the ending, this is perfection,
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->- |
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