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Evil Is Born
Contributed by
crmnlilbruno
on
Friday, 29th May 2015 @ 02:39:44 AM in AEST
Topic:
fictional
|
Completely distorted absolutely insane
Running wild but not free with all the time to complain
Visions of demons and battle cry's
No one knows his secrets there all spreading lies
Disrupted since birth fresh out the womb
Every evil in life he has consumed
Born in the rain from an overdosed dead mother
Out on the ground a twin to his dead brother
Raised on the streets by a drug infested fiend
Never known nice been shown nothing but mean
Older now he walks the streets alone at night
Only to be seen under a street light
Only for a moment you may catch a glance
Of his awkward slightly limping stance
Before turning back into the dark
Not to be seen till the next night he walks in the park
Aaron D. Carman
Copyright ©
crmnlilbruno
... [
2015-05-29 02:39:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Evil Is Born
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 29th May 2015 @ 09:14:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hmm. It feels like you were going for shock value with this piece, but not enough layers were peeled off. None of the 'shocking' lines were followed up. It seems as though you have much to get off your chest, and with a little more time spent you could probably deliver a wallop. Keep up the writes, and I would suggest spell check, or allow a mod to fix your grammatical errors next time.
~Scorp |
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Re: Evil Is Born
(User Rating: 1 )
by desciple on
Saturday, 30th May 2015 @ 03:05:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem spoke to me, it was gritty, simple, and to the point. It gave me glimpse of what its like to walk in your shoes from a distance. Rapid fire I like the delivery, keep'em coming, enjoyed the write...beautifully penned |
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Re: Evil Is Born
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 30th May 2015 @ 10:23:20 PM AEST
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well done!!! I think there is a cognitive dissonance
society holds when it comes down to understanding
the human condition as a whole.
walking in the rain up the hill in the darkest of night
I came upon him, the street man,
all his belongings at his side, he stood
like a statue with his knife waiting to strike...
Peace! |
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Re: Evil Is Born
(User Rating: 1 )
by SuicidalSon on
Tuesday, 2nd June 2015 @ 05:44:27 AM AEST
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My thoughts are distorted, why weren't you aborted?
Believe me its wrong, and still a sad song.
I know what you mean, see my life is not clean.
Cause I've sat in that place, I've seen your own face.
And I'm standing here, as a friend that'll care.
I'm no stranger who'll stare, come Evil no fear.
Ha you know I felt this one. Good write. |
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Re: Evil Is Born
(User Rating: 1 )
by InfinitePoet on
Wednesday, 14th October 2015 @ 01:21:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very Cool Piece!!
Keep writing
ANd sharing
forever!!
Peace
$tr8 $av |
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