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Hero
Contributed by
AmiasDavies
on
Sunday, 30th August 2015 @ 06:22:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Imagine if there was a hero out there,
Saving the people who at the abyss they stare,
Saving the people that are unable to shoot a flare,
Saving the people who are in the lions lair,
Saving the broken, unable to climb a stair,
Saving the ones cant stop one tear,
Saving the people who are locked up in a scare,
Saving the ones boxed up in a square,
Saving the ones that have no one that will care,
Saving the ones lost with nowhere,
Saving the ones who have no heir,
Saving the ones who rip their own hair,
Saving the people with no one to spare,
Saving the people to make them aware,
Saving the people to make them bare,
Saving the people and turn them to a bear,
Saving the people who can only glare.
Imagine if that hero can make them smile,
Changing the people who are hostile,
Changing the people with one file,
Changing the people with no style,
Changing the ones fighting over a isle,
Changing the ones who give up on the trial,
Changing the life and make it worthwhile,
Changing not one but a pile,
Changing the people and make them dial,
Changing the nations and make them compile,
Changing the people and stopping revile,
Changing the people and make them versatile.
Imagine that you are that hero,
You can make that dream from zero,
You can change into that biro,
Youre the ink that changes tomorrow,
Not alone, and you are not to borrow,
You can stop the sorrow.
Copyright ©
AmiasDavies
... [
2015-08-30 06:22:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th August 2015 @ 10:19:15 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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First, welcome to y p d c.
I have read all five of your poems now and while your heart seems in a right place, the rhyming of every line with like rhymes appears very forced. Just my opinion.
Additionally, please support our other poets. Simply writing and not reading/commenting on our other great writers comes across as self absorbed & selfish. Please don't just be a taker but a giver too. This is a community of poets not poet.
Thank you,
Tim |
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Re: Hero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 30th August 2015 @ 06:02:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree with Tim. And I too have read all of your poems. Good job with the rhyming though |
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