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Strength
Contributed by
sbhottie288
on
Thursday, 3rd September 2015 @ 02:53:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
The words in my head
Are different from my heart
My life turned upside down
I don't know where to start
Being molested as a child
To a cutter as a teen
It is no wonder
I started smoking green
By the age of twenty
I was raped twice
In this game of life
I rolled unlucky dice
Needing a fresh start
So I could be my best
I hopped on a plane
That was headed out west
I joined the navy
And began to grow
I was so happy
You could see my glow
Weeks turned to months
Months turned to years
I enjoyed it so much
I left behind all my fears
Then one night
I was out with friends
He decided to rape me
That's where the good ends
For two months
I hid the truth
All the feelings rushed back
From my time as a youth
NCIS didn't believe me
They thought it was a lie
I felt as small as an ant
I just wanted to die
A year and a half later
I get out as retired
Everyone thinks it is awesome
I feel like I got fired
I get kicked out
While he stayed in
That isn't fair
Why did he win
Battling several mental illnesses
Takes a toll on my soul
I can't help but feel
My life is what they stole
But somewhere deep
Inside of me
I have the strength to fight
So I can be free
Free of this torment
And free from the shame
I need this strength
To know I'm not to blame
No child asks
To be molested
Nothing that we did
Made it even suggested
Then to finally grow up
And have it happen even more
Sometimes I can't control it
Thoughts of being dead on the floor
But as I am writing this
I am standing tall
I might be a bit broken
But I refuse to fall
I want to share my story
I want to let it be known
If you are struggling with a mental illness
You are not alone
I've struggled with suicide
For a few years
My pillow caught
Over a million tears
From pills to a rope
I carefully thought out a plan
I wanted it to be over
I didn't give a damn
I seriously thought about it
Then realized there is more to life
I'm so lucky to be alive
Because I found a beautiful wife
If you are struggling with suicide
Please reread about my life
Know you will be missed
So put away that knife
Please don't give in
To the demons inside
We need to stand together
To show them we have nothing to hide
The struggle is real
It is a fight every night
Please just remember
Everything will be alright
Copyright ©
sbhottie288
... [
2015-09-03 14:53:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Strength
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Thursday, 3rd September 2015 @ 03:06:18 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was hard to read, but there is so much hope in it. We are not accountable for what others do.
And if they do it to us, we are victims, without guilt.
I am comforted to know that you found your strength and endurance. Your story may serve to summon it forth in others at the exact moment that they need it. You will probably never know.
But you cared enough to share.
softerware |
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Re: Strength
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 3rd September 2015 @ 06:31:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Thanks for sharing this. This hits somewhat home for me, abuse no matter what kind is wrong. I'm glad you got through it. |
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Re: Strength
(User Rating: 1 )
by speedy on
Thursday, 3rd September 2015 @ 08:05:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. Great write.
Hannah B |
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Re: Strength
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd September 2015 @ 09:52:04 PM AEST
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I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through but you have exactly what the title suggests...strength.
Thank you for sharing.
Keepa writin'!
Tim |
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Re: Strength
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Friday, 4th September 2015 @ 01:57:42 AM AEST
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Provocative, evocative, and even grasping, which was surprising by the start. The last stanza is my favorite, because that first line is so far overused all over the internet as a joke, but there's so much hope, so much strength that we as people have and can have, that to hear such a thing, certainly can help us empathize with those who experience what we do not; and by bettering ourselves in this learning, we understand, see, hold, and love every single version of the human condition that speaks to us in ways to say "I'm alone". To remember that others that feel alone are not alone is great, especially when we might feel alone for reasons similar or even unrelated, we too can feel the same way.
So thanks for sharing this, and I hope things go incredibly well for you from here, because it would be wrong to not say that you've earned it. :) |
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