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Dreams
Contributed by
AmiasDavies
on
Friday, 4th September 2015 @ 07:36:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
You sit looking at the screens,
Hoping for them to add to dreams,
But life isnt what it seems,
It backstabs with no teams,
And your life runs with streams,
There are no seams,
No regimes, just to the extremes,
Reach those screams,
Start up your schemes,
If you dont know what it means,
Remember your teens,
You had dreams, not made by machines,
You looked up to marines,
You wanted to create vaccines,
You wanted new jeans,
You wanted to create new scenes,
You wanted to find the queens,
You wanted peace with greens,
Success isnt fount from genes,
Life isnt just some routines,
Your dreams cleans like vaccines in this earth by all means,
Work hard but be patient for those beans,
But dont be too greedy like Jack,
You dont know whos behind your back,
When the abyss is black,
But theres one small crack,
So you better not slack,
Or the problems will stack,
And you will lose track,
Thats when a dream becomes a nightmare,
Your life adds up to despair,
All because you took no care,
No support not even from a chair,
Something comes that you cant bear,
As the monster starts to glare,
You end up locked in a square,
You stare, youre no longer a pair,
But there is a stair,
That leads nowhere,
You start to swear,
For something thats not rare,
The light becomes clear,
You know what to do to get out of here,
Have no fear, for it will disappear,
The exit is not near,
For it might take a year,
You should stay strong and move from the rear.
Copyright ©
AmiasDavies
... [
2015-09-04 07:36:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Friday, 4th September 2015 @ 11:02:40 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Great write.
Not an insult but to me and I'm no expert, poetry is not all about rhyming to me. As a matter of fact it actually disturbed the flow of this fine poem. Your work is great but I would stay away from a massive rhyming scheme as to me it ruins your poetry.
You have a great way of expressing yourself and you don't need the tricks. It's better to be a flow master than a rhyme master :)
James |
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Re: Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sbhottie288 on
Friday, 4th September 2015 @ 12:36:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I enjoyed reading your poem. I also feel that the rhyming in every line made it a bit messy. I usually rhyme every other line. But I definitely like it. Keep up the great work! |
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Re: Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 5th September 2015 @ 11:40:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
damn this is intensely intelligent!
The Dreams! The plights!
Peace! |
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