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Deaf Mute
Contributed by
winniss
on
Friday, 9th October 2015 @ 07:04:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
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The best things in life,
never make a sound.
Like leaves colored in memories,
falling to the ground.
Copyright ©
winniss
... [
2015-10-09 19:04:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Deaf Mute
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Friday, 9th October 2015 @ 11:21:38 PM AEST
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Splendid! The most excruciating exercise in any art form is simplicity. Distilling the essence of a thought to the smallest denominator.
Writers tend to be verbose, either because they will be paid by the word, or because they are not certain they will be understood in fewer words.
You have told a story in 4 lines, so cleverly that for those of us who prefer visuals to words, you have left us the option of picturing your statement!
It seems simple; but in truth, it took much thought to bring your concept to such brevity.
Excellent execution. Your readers will be flattered that you endeavored not to waste their time.
softerware
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Re: Deaf Mute
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Saturday, 10th October 2015 @ 01:19:39 PM AEST
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Picturing a tree with leaves colored in memories is an interesting thing.
Just picturing a tree with every smile and frown, every game and story, every love and enemy, every kiss and thrown fist, and so on and so on, almost glittering in a treetop, like a colorful snowy background of an old antenna tv without reception. Picturing leaves falling to the ground, slowly losing image, and fading out once they hit the ground, or keeping the images as they hit the ground is entirely up to interpretation.
Both are good though is the funny part. The leaves keeping their image shows a removal of memories for new ones, while the fading of images shows a beautiful and sad representation of aging in my opinion.
I like what Softerware says above, but I also have to say, with four lines you don't just tell a story, you tell a story that has ambiguity on it's own, no effort needed. That's just as impressive, as it's where that ambiguity lies.
Nicely done. :) |
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Re: Deaf Mute
(User Rating: 1 )
by InfinitePoet on
Tuesday, 13th October 2015 @ 10:35:48 PM AEST
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All I can say is
BRAVO!!
Keep writing and sharing always!!
Peace
Str8 Sav |
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Re: Deaf Mute
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 16th October 2015 @ 07:11:50 PM AEST
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What an impact in a mere few lines.
That is artistry and I applaud you for it.
Keep writing
Steve |
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