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her idol
Contributed by
Jabberwocky
on
Monday, 23rd November 2015 @ 09:27:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
She took beatings man
and goddamn
hard ones
i mean
hard ones
i mean
id beg for mercy
or some
*****
But look shes stupid
for not leaving
even said she loves him
more than ever
And i don't know
the emotional stuff'd be bad too, but
She took beatings man
and goddamn
hard ones!
But that's just
the love
we have
for what can make
everything
grayer
Copyright ©
Jabberwocky
... [
2015-11-23 21:27:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: her idol
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 24th November 2015 @ 12:56:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I suppose with all the commenting you do on the other poets here it's cool that you're requesting comments. |
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Re: her idol
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Tuesday, 24th November 2015 @ 02:41:02 AM AEST
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Since you're asking for comments, I will offer three.
1. I hope this poem is not a page from your own life.
2. If it is, you have much to learn about what love is and can be- what
these two people have is as far from love as the dead of night to
high noon on a cloudless day.
3. In spite of the content, I like the flow, and the fact you are writing
these thoughts, be they of you or another, is an indicator of
emotional processing, which is a good thing indeed. Like I said, a
good write from a structural standpoint, though a bit of attention
to proper spelling will go a long way.
I am glad you shared and your poem hit me in the gut.....always a sign of good stuff.
Invierno |
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Re: her idol
(User Rating: 1 )
by thomasu01 on
Wednesday, 25th November 2015 @ 12:43:50 PM AEST
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I feel saddened by reading this as I have seen this on several occasions with my employment.
Women at times astound me, and mens response is triggered by their or other circumstances. Some like the abuse as it is a mental problem, confused with love.
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Re: her idol
(User Rating: 1 )
by speedy on
Wednesday, 25th November 2015 @ 08:04:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great write.
Hannah B |
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