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A King Among Men
Contributed by
InfinitePoet
on
Tuesday, 23rd February 2016 @ 11:37:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
obsession
|
A King Among Men
orig/<906>/ Poetry
est 2008
by; $tr8 $av
aka d.l.b.
wikkid Rich
A king among men
Could never be a
Clown,
Thoughts &
Feelings
Running inside
So quick and
Deep
In a river of
Sadness,
That rushes
With madness
To a sea of
Blackness,
Weeping the tears
By which I/'/ll
Drown,
Unable to smile
It turned to
A frown
The rivers
Taking me
Down
The last thing
I see is the
Rare
Beauty
Of your crown
With one
Jewel missing
No hugging,
No kissing,
You just
Keep
Resisting
As I go
Under
I keep
Insisting
All the time
It was me
You never
Did see
The last
Jewel
Was
Me
Now 2
NEVER
be found........
Copyright ©
InfinitePoet
... [
2016-02-23 11:37:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A King Among Men
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 24th February 2016 @ 11:03:56 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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There is something magical occurring in this piece.
The flow worked perfectly with the emotion and words.
I would say the only thing(s) that took away from its impact was the confusing beginning where you (I presume accidentally?) added this:
//A King Among Men
orig//<906>// Poetry
est 2008
by; $tr8 $av
aka d.l.b.
wikkid Rich//
It comes across as juvenile if it was intentionally added. I mean, learning all of your nicknames does nothing for me as a reader. I just came here to read a new submission from the poet who refers to them self as "InfinitePoet". In other words, it adds absolutely nothing to your write. Also, using the number "2" in your one line is sloppy and unnecessary (IMO).
I did quite enjoy this poem though, so don/'/t get hung up on the negative.
Thank you for sharing.
~Scorp |
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