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Stroke of Genius
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Thursday, 3rd March 2016 @ 01:01:44 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
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Empty Promises.
They float, in and out,
On a symphony of blamelessness
Shifting, back and forth,
Melancholy lullaby.
Hauntingly soothing in its melody
Piano keys play Apathetic Prison
Round here.
Black and white, up and down,
Strokes of grey clash despondently
Thrashing side to side
Breaking free.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2016-03-03 01:01:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Stroke of Genius
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd March 2016 @ 01:58:24 AM AEST
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Stroke of genius. √
Strokes of grey. √
Worked in hauntingly. √
Abstract indeed. √
Got it. √ That`s a wrap...or is it a rap?
Those first two lines, though, empty promises they float in and out. So many people these days not really meaning what they say. A promise is a promise. Or this one, "I`d do anything for you." No commitment. No responsibility. And noooo TIMgent shutting up.
Thank you for filling my head with words. This put a notch in my thick lull of non inspiration....// thank you//!!! |
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Re: Stroke of Genius
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Thursday, 3rd March 2016 @ 02:48:16 AM AEST
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Interesting. I googled "Apathetic Prison", because the caps made me think it was something, in reference rather than abstract choice of words. It brought me to a song on youtube, and I have to say, along with the first stanza, the song is strangely soothing, yet unnerving- especially at first in regards to the unnerving.
So I have to say, this poem makes me feel that this poem itself is that state of mind, breaking free of yourself into words, which is in itself quite a fantastic thing to have. :) |
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Re: Stroke of Genius
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Thursday, 3rd March 2016 @ 04:10:39 PM AEST
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I feel I know this prison you write of. And anytime you get readers to relate, you got IT! Thanks for sharing.
ming |
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Re: Stroke of Genius
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Thursday, 3rd March 2016 @ 11:27:17 PM AEST
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Promises compared to a piano keyboard. Never black and white, and the longer played the more the commitment melds to impotence and grey.
Witnessing the metamorphisis is very like listening to a melancholy song. Passion and clarity turning to apathy and vagueness.
A metaphor for life itself. We begin life apathetic and without knowledge; grow and bloom to vibrant colors; and age back to our beginnings in the end.
Splendidly told and so deftly handled that the reader can relate no matter his age, situation, or background. You have written a bridge we all will cross. A master work here. Worthy of a second read to sustain the imagery.
softerware
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Re: Stroke of Genius
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Friday, 4th March 2016 @ 07:51:11 AM AEST
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Great poem. I read nothing into it. I took it simply for what it said and even with my minimalist attitude it was loud and clear. Great job.
James |
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Re: Stroke of Genius
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Thursday, 10th March 2016 @ 07:01:34 AM AEST
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Other commentators beat me to the words. All I will add is that i like this poem quite a bit and enjoyed the short trip.
Invierno |
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Re: Stroke of Genius
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 14th April 2016 @ 11:35:33 PM AEST
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truly beautiful most worthy poetry, /'/apathetic prison/'/ be
the song and perfect for my mood:)
hugs n love nessa |
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