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Weeds - Burns Sonnet
Contributed by
ramfire
on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 12:16:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
In spring time when the sun kisses the land
with its warmth and winter bids its adieu,
I put away coats and hats and lay my hand
to pulling weeds I wish there were but few.
Few things are more unpleasant than bad weeds
mixed in with good plants they are a bad curse,
when mowing the grass there is nothing worse.
They make the yard ugly and spread their seeds.
Poison helps keep the dandelions down,
it helps but it/'/s so expensive to use.
I just wish weeds and I could make a truce,
such wish is fantasy of course I frown.
Up and at /'/em, aye it/'/s aboot time I know,
hoe in hand to the weed patch here I go.
Copyright ©
ramfire
... [
2016-04-19 12:16:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Weeds - Burns Sonnet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 06:41:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| As far as sonnets go, you have almost mastered the format, but iambic pentameter is more complicated. You fall down on your stresses. |
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Re: Weeds - Burns Sonnet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 06:52:34 PM AEST
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Has to be..dadum/ dadum/dadum/dadum/dadum/...sorry to be so technical.it bored me too.
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Re: Weeds - Burns Sonnet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 07:05:53 PM AEST
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eg: take line three.. If you/'/d said: I put away those coats and hats and lay my head./'/ It works.
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Re: Weeds - Burns Sonnet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 07:08:34 PM AEST
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apart from the syllables, but you know what I mean.
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Re: Weeds - Burns Sonnet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 07:18:23 PM AEST
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Forget the hats./'/ I put away those coats and lay my head./'/
That/'/s the right way. I hate all that /*****/, but is your are going to do it, it has to be right. x |
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Re: Weeds - Burns Sonnet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 07:19:09 PM AEST
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| you/'/re |
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Re: Weeds - Burns Sonnet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2016 @ 07:25:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Damn good poem that! |
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