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Venus Heart
Contributed by
maryamu
on
Friday, 30th September 2016 @ 06:41:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Those eyes of so dark
Pricks like thorn in waters
Who looked with hidden spark
Filling moon light of shatters
In the sleepless night of stars
Why my Venus heart glares at mars
We meet and see ignoring thoughts
In heart they sound like wrought
Still cant believe its true
Like an unsung song of new
flooding in to desire again
Waving like sea in pain
Does this thirst ever restrain?
In midst of love and wars
Why my Venus heart glares at mars
Deep inside it lies
And silently it snares
Breaking, shaking, stepping in high
Spirit voices to declare
Melting like drop of sky
Seeded beneath the soil share
While churning life in barren jars
Why my Venus heart glares at mars
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maryamu
... [
2016-09-30 06:41:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Venus Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by duff on
Friday, 30th September 2016 @ 08:56:53 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| You/'/ve got some nice imagery here. Your lines transport you beneath a starry night. A great setting for reflection. Well done |
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Re: Venus Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 30th September 2016 @ 12:07:03 PM AEST
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This poem has potential. Imagery seems to be your strong suit. Nicely done. I do not remember you from before, but welcome back just the same.
~Scorp |
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Re: Venus Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Friday, 30th September 2016 @ 06:22:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The surging undertow of love and seduction is played out well in your musing upon the turbulent ebb and flow of emotions we know so well.
Your gaited style keeps bringing us back to the start, and, like a swing, you push us off again into another skyward arch, to savor a new layer. So nicely choreographed that it is a joy to become breathless with each swing into your tale. You give the reader a familiar base to return to, allowing us to explore with you in small succulent portions! Well done!
softerware |
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