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Orchards Of Frost
Contributed by
unknown_utopia
on
Saturday, 26th November 2016 @ 07:51:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
It is fools gold
when I get that feeling
that I
that I am emotionally free
there can be no escape for me
I am condemned to misery,
when she smiled there was nothing I could do
I lost everything
and I would do it all again
if she came back to me,
it feels like I am going backwards
now I just
bury myself in smoke
fooled once again it never ends
insomnia depressions slowly flows.
slowly I descend into the madness
self mutilation lets me take control
and I might be Lucifers son
because I no longer have a soul,
I am a survivor of the terrible lie
of what is and never should be
scrape my fetus of the wheel
as I revert back and bleed,
black sunrise in over drive
life is killing me
moaning Lisa smiles
as she drives the dagger in deep.
Copyright ©
unknown_utopia
... [
2016-11-26 07:51:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Orchards Of Frost
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 26th November 2016 @ 11:17:50 AM AEST
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Woah na na... Great wordplay. ^_^ Ouch.
~Scorp |
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Re: Orchards Of Frost
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Saturday, 26th November 2016 @ 04:05:46 PM AEST
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Raw to the bone of the matter. No flowery. rants in your chant.
We have all felt like this but could find no words for it. Thank you for speaking for many. And for reminding me to be grateful for what is absent; not just what I hold in my hand! I would not want to wait to be up to my tukas in grief and struggle to look back at where I am and say--I never appreciated it until it was lost.
Makes one think about value, and your write has changed the way we measure happiness.
softer ware
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Re: Orchards Of Frost
(User Rating: 1 )
by duff on
Sunday, 27th November 2016 @ 09:28:21 AM AEST
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I love the title. That kicks it off from the start. Then your lines bristle with a cold brush that chills you from a winter storm biting at your soul.
"black sunrise in over drive"
I really like that line. Great job my friend
duff |
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Re: Orchards Of Frost
(User Rating: 1 )
by ingeniusidiot on
Monday, 28th November 2016 @ 06:18:08 AM AEST
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your imagery is astounding. Great write and so many can relate to your words. Thank you. Keep up the great work.
Rich
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Re: Orchards Of Frost
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Wednesday, 30th November 2016 @ 04:43:40 PM AEST
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Full of angst. Superb poem.
Well done!
James |
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Re: Orchards Of Frost
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 3rd December 2016 @ 06:21:24 PM AEST
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I read this with sorrow for your pain. I would much prefer to write here that "I can only imagine", but, by decree or otherwise, I cannot.
Most comments above I would only echo..the imagery is wonderful...grief made tangible and draped in conceptions.
I/'/ve been reading you for several years. There is much pain and I haven/'/t seen a much hoped for variance from the primary intonations your poems leave me with. Perhaps, (and I can attest to its efficacy), you might, instead of using poetry as a vehicle to carry your feelings of pain out of you as one would carry something in a wheelbarrow, you can write a poem of love and positive energy, regardless of how utterly crappy you feel.
I/'/m suggesting that instead of your poetry being a receptacle to TAKE AWAY your negative feelings constricting your spirit, (which was and is designed to be a thing of joy and freedom from pain), you use poetry instead to bring joy INTO your spirit. Important key to this next! Write OF joy even if you don/'/t FEEL joy.
You will be amazed, but even false joy is stronger than real pain. If you do it once a day for as long as it takes to work (different with every person of course), you will discover that this false joy has sprung real roots, and that pain will lessen its grip, as it ALWAYS does in the light of joy, much as darkness fades in light.... (just light...not /'/the light of god, or some such thing...I use light metaphorically and non-religiously).
Wishing you well,
Invierno
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