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Touched
Contributed by
duff
on
Monday, 28th November 2016 @ 02:17:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Poked with unprovoked spears
Nerves beating to the swerves
Days clocked by fouls mocked
Purple blue speech fisted truth
Bottled up fifth cures the throttle
Seek workplace excuse for face
Submission not guilty admission
Vicious downs supportive sound
Slumber porous broken fortress
Queen/'/s rounds revoked crowns
Red wine beneath a jester/'/s try
Cards tender cannot mend her
Copyright ©
duff
... [
2016-11-28 14:17:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Touched
(User Rating: 1 )
by ingeniusidiot on
Monday, 28th November 2016 @ 02:35:58 PM AEST
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yet again another interesting piece. Dont think i have ever seen a rhyme scheme quite like this before. i will have to read it a few more times :)
Great job my friend
Rich |
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Re: Touched
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Tuesday, 29th November 2016 @ 06:27:57 PM AEST
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/'/Bottled up fifth cures the throttle. Submission not guilty admission./'/ I relate with these statements. I wasn/'/t sure it was love.. ;)
ming |
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Re: Touched
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 29th November 2016 @ 06:57:40 PM AEST
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Some great stand alone lines in here:
//Days clocked by fouls mocked
Bottled up fifth cures the throttle
Submission not guilty admission//
And I love that closing line.
~Scorp |
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Re: Touched
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Wednesday, 30th November 2016 @ 04:37:07 PM AEST
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I/'/m not dialed into your frequency but I really like these kind of poems you write. You have a unique mindset. I think you/'/re just advanced.
Great write.
James |
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Re: Touched
(User Rating: 1 )
by GloomyBlu on
Saturday, 3rd December 2016 @ 11:52:00 AM AEST
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| It/'/s powerful to me that each row is aligned so well. |
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Re: Touched
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Saturday, 3rd December 2016 @ 10:25:46 PM AEST
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Your work is always to explore. You write with a curious mind. I/'/m certain from reading this that your vision of the world is not limited as mine. I wish that poets such as yourself could record your work so that we could hear it as you intend it.
Perhaps leaving us to interpret for ourselves is the gift you bring. This certainly stirs the juices! And can be taken many ways depending on the mindset of the moment! If I read it next week, all the colors will have changed. You have offered us thoughts in a prism! The wonder of a kaleidoscope in a few words! No easy task to write with enough resilience that your concepts are not distorted by exposure to many perspectives. softerware |
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