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City Girl
Contributed by
duff
on
Saturday, 31st December 2016 @ 08:15:38 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Her dress wept with rain
Mascara streaking dark
Dashing heels drowning
The daily news umbrella
Reading for stormy days
Sly crosswalk negotiator
Taxis soaked in stoplight
The skyscraper acoustic
A symphony conducting
Streets breathing heavy
Into the night she struts
Copyright ©
duff
... [
2016-12-31 08:15:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: City Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 31st December 2016 @ 12:37:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Maybe I/'/m just a biased city girl myself, but this poem could make any citidiot homesick. And smile...I can smell the concrete jungle just reading this!
I/'/ll be here...Soaking up the atmosphere. Thanks!
~Scorp |
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Re: City Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Sunday, 1st January 2017 @ 10:08:44 AM AEST
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My vision of this would be a grand old clip in the late twenties to early thirties Hollywood movie. I don/'/t think you were going that way but I/'/m a B&W movie fan and in my mind I had seen this play out many times. Very well executed and you put me right there.......
Bravo
James |
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Re: City Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Sunday, 1st January 2017 @ 02:15:49 PM AEST
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Many great lines (her dress wept with rain) to visualize, but the impact of this write is the way it draws us into the wet city street. I got homesick for New York on a dismal rainy day.
The steam rising off the sidewalks (streets breathing heavy) the people holding newspapers over their heads dashing to the subways (the daily news umbrella). You have captured the essence of
an image and converted it into an emotion. Not easy to do! And well executed. No unneeded words..
You paint feelings with your words, and you do it very well! softerware
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Re: City Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Sunday, 1st January 2017 @ 10:14:44 PM AEST
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This whole poem is sublime! Everyone who reads it will see the painted words of the woman in the city rain. I want to steal some lines. :)
ming |
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Re: City Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Thursday, 5th January 2017 @ 10:37:39 PM AEST
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| Had me visualizing the scene.... |
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