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~Quo abistis ?~
Contributed by
navydocny
on
Saturday, 10th March 2018 @ 09:13:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
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Where are you my Moon, my stars? Never did my night breathe before you were here and without you, it is lifeless and dark. Where are you my Sun, the light of my day? I had not known warmth and nourishment before you came and now, there is no light in my life. Where are you now, the wind that blows? You used to bring me whispers of what is and what could one day be. Without you, the sails of my life hang empty without purpose. Where did you go my lovely sea? The lovely songs your rocking waves sang would lull me to my most content of sleep and bring me solitude. Now, there is only the void with an endless horizon to look out upon. Where did you go, my heaven and my earththe one that is everything? Until you return I will wait in oblivion
Copyright ©
navydocny
... [
2018-03-10 21:13:52] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ~Quo abistis ?~
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Saturday, 10th March 2018 @ 10:25:05 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Awesome write friend even tho its sad/'/
I often wondered how u felt
guess I know now no t many realize what u guys
sacrifice to take care of your luved oes.
later
I was once a navy wife |
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Re: ~Quo abistis ?~
(User Rating: 1 ) by softerware on
Sunday, 11th March 2018 @ 01:25:30 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is both literal and haunting. Each element you subtract withdraws the beauty from life, explaining vividly your longing and loss.
It is a melancholy journey, beautifully orchestrated to (I, for one) a rapt audience.
softerware |
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Re: ~Quo abistis ?~
(User Rating: 1 ) by Invierno on
Sunday, 11th March 2018 @ 11:47:57 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very, very evocative, even if it is written like a paragraph from a story.
I thrill at the thought of this being arranged into a poem.
You have a gift that would draw admiration from Rumi himself.
Time to use your gift and turn it into art. Think about arrangement.
Blessings,
Invierno. |
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Re: ~Quo abistis ?~
(User Rating: 1 ) by JamesStockdale on
Sunday, 11th March 2018 @ 09:01:28 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like how you presented it. Great write. Sometimes arranging stuff makes it boring.
Throw it out there. Only the words matter!
I like it this way! |
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