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Array ( [sid] => 185804 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Resounding Calls in Silent Halls [time] => 2019-01-21 02:02:07 [hometext] => I need some help... or a life coach or something... even wanting to do better doesn/'/t seem to change anything. Caught in complacent routines, habits, and passionless. I/'/m saddened by the fact, but more so by its impact on the world around me. [bodytext] => //Oh how fickle heart beats...
One moment hammering;
The next at calm

Oh how fear entreats...
One moment panicking;
The next enbalmed

Funny how conscience assists
Yet trouble still persists
Won/'/t desist; can/'/t resist

For all the acts to vindicate
And equal number sabotage
Stop caring! Stop analyzing! Live!

Could I, I would will it so
Accept and go with the flow;
Grow; but drifting/'/s most I know

I try - make attempt to better;
Thicken skin and release my fetters,
Yet slave I am, my own betters

It/'/s all the same.

Beaten myself it seems battered,
In preemptive self-defense
Made no choices; regret my no regrets

I had dreams, emotions, pride;
But it seems the passion/'/s died
And the silence resounds inside

I wear my heart on my sleeve,
But tuck it underneath,
Ashamed of the beat

I dig my self a series of holes
Habit? Keeping busy?
Given up so long ago, I haven/'/t got a clue

I climb to the surface on occasion
In dire need of exhumation;
Complacency is my castration

Truth be told I want to live again,
But I fear I never did
Seldom felt the touch of skin

I want to want; to be human;
But that seems pathetic...
Doesn/'/t it? [comments] => 3 [counter] => 135 [topic] => 48 [informant] => xHeathenx [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Resounding Calls in Silent Halls

Contributed by xHeathenx on Monday, 21st January 2019 @ 02:02:07 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

//Oh how fickle heart beats...
One moment hammering;
The next at calm

Oh how fear entreats...
One moment panicking;
The next enbalmed

Funny how conscience assists
Yet trouble still persists
Won/'/t desist; can/'/t resist

For all the acts to vindicate
And equal number sabotage
Stop caring! Stop analyzing! Live!

Could I, I would will it so
Accept and go with the flow;
Grow; but drifting/'/s most I know

I try - make attempt to better;
Thicken skin and release my fetters,
Yet slave I am, my own betters

It/'/s all the same.

Beaten myself it seems battered,
In preemptive self-defense
Made no choices; regret my no regrets

I had dreams, emotions, pride;
But it seems the passion/'/s died
And the silence resounds inside

I wear my heart on my sleeve,
But tuck it underneath,
Ashamed of the beat

I dig my self a series of holes
Habit? Keeping busy?
Given up so long ago, I haven/'/t got a clue

I climb to the surface on occasion
In dire need of exhumation;
Complacency is my castration

Truth be told I want to live again,
But I fear I never did
Seldom felt the touch of skin

I want to want; to be human;
But that seems pathetic...
Doesn/'/t it?

Copyright © xHeathenx ... [ 2019-01-21 02:02:07]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Resounding Calls in Silent Halls (User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on Monday, 21st January 2019 @ 04:01:30 PM AEST
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Great writing. We all feel that way at times and knowing it means you know it isn/'/t right and you will eventually change when the time is right...
Your last stanza was brilliant and honestly I/'/m not proud of being human or knowing many. It does at times seem pathetic. Bravo. Honestly to be human to me seems to be a scavenger. Oh how disgusting and pathetic.....

Re: Resounding Calls in Silent Halls (User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on Monday, 21st January 2019 @ 04:56:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A few sayings by smarter people than myself. They have helped me out of the spot you find yourself in.

1 Life isn/'/t about finding yourself; life is about CREATING yourself".
Mary McCarthy

2. Med do not decide their future; They decide their habits, and their habits
decide their future".
Unknown

3. Discipline is doing what you need to do, when you need to do it, whether
you want to do it or not".
Unknown

4. By perseverance, the snail reached the ark".
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

5. If we don/'/t plan our day for success, we allow the day to plan our demise".
Michael T Winter

Hope these help. I/'/ve been in your shoes for darn sure. But, shoes can be taken off.

Invierno

Re: Resounding Calls in Silent Halls (User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on Monday, 21st January 2019 @ 09:11:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Love the searching, questioning style! The only way I escape my inner voice is to derail my thoughts. My brain cant multitask, when given something of value to untangle.
Muscles, bone, and self esteem atrophy unattended. We were not designed to be unnecessary.
softerware

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