|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Blind
Contributed by
empois
on
Saturday, 7th June 2003 @ 04:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
PoemsonBeauty
|
I sometimes wish I was blind
For then I wouldn't just chase
the pretty girls.
But might greater appreciate
everyone's personality.
Yet I would still have my sense
of touch.
Might then my greatest desire
be soft skin?
Copyright ©
empois
... [
2003-06-07 16:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Blind
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForsakenSoul on
Friday, 11th July 2003 @ 04:52:32 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Good write. It's simple and that makes its meaning the more apparent, and with the meaning it holds, simplicity is a necessity. As far as improvement, try "less is more" lines two and three could remove "for" and "the"
Change but to "I" things like that. But in the ned, the poets choice, and you obviously made many good choices already for this poem. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Site Help
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
