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Heart Filled Envelope
Contributed by
deadly_blaZe
on
Monday, 9th June 2003 @ 01:25:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Today im giving you an envelope
Which isn't something new
We always give each other stuff
It's something we always do.
We've been friends forever
I can't remember being apart
But this stuff inside this letter
Has the impact to tear us apart.
The content is deep
It's literally from within
Your reaction controls
Whether things end or begin.
I'm not askin you for to much
Just for you to take
This simple little letter
That plays a role in fate.
I can't say this to your face
I wouldn't know what to say
So by placing it in an envelope
I hope you get what im trying to say.
Dont be startled, Dont be afraid
This hurt me more than you
It was more painful than I imagined
But it was all done for you.
I did a lot of thinking
I made this decision with care
It belonged to you from the beginning
Your all that lies in there.
So please acept it
My bleeding beating heart
I placed it inside this envelope
Hoping something better will start.
What you choose to do with it
Is obvisouly up to you
But whatever you choose to do
Please dont break my heart in two.
Copyright ©
deadly_blaZe
... [
2003-06-09 01:25:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heart Filled Envelope
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th June 2003 @ 05:33:06 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I like the ending. I wouldn't chnage it at all. the only thing that I would say is to break it down into verses if you can - just something that makes it a little easier to read. I always find that blocks of text on the page are harder to read than if it is broken down into managable pieces. I wouldn't change the contect at all though. It is really good.
sleepless_siren |
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Re: Heart Filled Envelope
(User Rating: 1 )
by XoIrishXo on
Monday, 9th June 2003 @ 11:19:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I thought you did a great job on this one!! I hope all turns out well for you!! Smile!! XoXo |
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Re: Heart Filled Envelope
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Monday, 9th June 2003 @ 03:45:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really enjoyed this. Something about it struck me as almost familiar, like it triggered a memory but I'm not sure what it was... I dunno. Weird. Anyway, great poem.
~ Moonlit |
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