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Buried Deep....
Contributed by
LovingWhispers
on
Tuesday, 24th June 2003 @ 03:25:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
A dark foreboding silence held me in its suffocating grip
As I dared to dream and then went down,like a captain and his ship
Swirls of nothingness but salted words,poured back into my mouth
They were choking me so slowly, as my limp body spiralled south
Bubbling syllables and frothy vowels, filled my swollen throat
Unscrambling,then rewording, every sentence,verse I ever wrote
Without a thought,with barren mind,all I could do was sink
Deep down into my shallow grave,where no more could I think
Enter then the dreams of old,the love I'd always hoped for
They too were lost and sinking,to the dark and cold sea floor
I felt a heaving in my soul,and purged forth my every poem
To lie with me in eternal darkness,the bottomless sea,my home
Copyright ©
LovingWhispers
... [
2003-06-24 15:25:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Buried Deep....
(User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on
Tuesday, 24th June 2003 @ 03:39:30 PM AEST
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| a different theme to your usual work but with the same style and fantastic imagery that make your other poems so memorable and successful. excellent dark write, it shows the benefit of trying something new. keep them coming, Kate x |
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Re: Buried Deep....
(User Rating: 1 )
by vincy on
Tuesday, 24th June 2003 @ 04:51:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You are a natural weaver
the metaphores are enhanced
there's that sinking feeling in this poem
which animates the visuals,
keeps the readers on their toes.
I do similarly with my poem (Fallen angel). |
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Re: Buried Deep....
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 24th June 2003 @ 11:33:46 PM AEST
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| ooooo very good sharon, me thinks ye have a flare for the darkside:0 ~hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Buried Deep....
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Wednesday, 25th June 2003 @ 02:13:49 AM AEST
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| You have a brilliant flair for writing whatever takes your mind ... this one is extremely well written ... although hopefully not what you feel in your heart :))))) Jan |
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Re: Buried Deep....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sapphire on
Wednesday, 25th June 2003 @ 08:41:29 AM AEST
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A very nice, dark poem. Like sinking into a void, an oubliette, with no way of escape. The imagery is intense. Well done.
Sue |
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Re: Buried Deep....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lone_er on
Wednesday, 25th June 2003 @ 07:20:44 PM AEST
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| who can know the depths or heights of the souls journey-Sometimes in the darkness, sometime in the light- All we can do is write what the heart sees. -- Well written maam. Russ |
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Re: Buried Deep....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Wednesday, 25th June 2003 @ 09:21:02 PM AEST
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You put your pen to paper ...and paint a materpiece of mental imagery . As always ,my sweet, you cause a stirring of my soul with every write.
Dark red roses at your feet. ;o) |
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