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Caught Up
Contributed by
chenobi
on
Wednesday, 16th July 2003 @ 06:25:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Was his face already pale
That evening when we met?
And were his eyes already wide open
When he sat down on my bed?
And then his stare, so rare
Other looks I could distinguish
From eachother, effortless
But this one was new and never been shown
To other eyes, out of pride
He had kept her hidden
And now it revealed to me tonight
And frightened me as I saw
How his face turned pale and his eyes got huge
How his mouth opened as if he wanted to speak
And then his stare
A face of fright
His eyes pointing at me
Or through me as if I wasn't there
Then I saw that it wasn't me
Who'd made him freeze like ice
But something behind me
So I turned around
And unfortunately realized
That I had already been stabbed ten times
With that bloody kitchen knife
Copyright ©
chenobi
... [
2003-07-16 18:25:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Caught Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomsLDY on
Wednesday, 16th July 2003 @ 09:17:01 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Very frightening. Well done though. |
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Re: Caught Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by SwEeT_aLeX on
Thursday, 17th July 2003 @ 04:30:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Damn, This poem is realli good, that ending gives me chills..i love it, check out mine while ur here... it's not frightening, but hey, tell me what u think...Keep the writing goin.. |
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Re: Caught Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Thursday, 17th July 2003 @ 09:35:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Wow...it's great. A bit scary though. |
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Re: Caught Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Saturday, 26th July 2003 @ 07:21:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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interesting write...strong message, and yes, very chilling...
kara |
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Re: Caught Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by yellow_sundragon on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 04:03:28 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, what a twist at the end, not at all what I was expecting... but a good write, none the less...
*J* |
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