|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Fizzled Meaning
Contributed by
norticus
on
Tuesday, 13th August 2002 @ 06:27:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
On the left, youre on the right.
On your right Im in the wrong.
We forgot our foundation.
The place was brought into a promise.
The place was torn away.
We stood in the place I insulted your lace
We float in the puddle of love.
Darkness in day, you shine me out
In morning I sleep a lot.
The light shone on our love.
I fell in the hole.
We emanated light I fled in the night
We burn in the fires of passion
And the wick falls in the puddle
fisssss
Copyright ©
norticus
... [
2002-08-13 06:27:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Fizzled Meaning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kiz on
Saturday, 2nd November 2002 @ 08:38:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Well, doesn't look as if this one of your best ones as it looks as i am the only one to comment. This one does not seem to show your best skills. Not the greatest one, but stil well written. Kiz's Scale:2 |
|
|
Re: Fizzled Meaning
(User Rating: 1 )
by norticus on
Sunday, 3rd November 2002 @ 02:15:25 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Thanks for reading/rating this one. I was waiting for someone to comment. Read it again and this time go in your mind to a relationship where it started on the direction of love and then ended in just sex. This is about a relationship that I became a sex toy and nothing more from someone I cared about. The puddle is representative of my semen on the sheets. The fire is the passion that love is forged in and yet at the center of fire and passion there is a small foundation - a little wick. The wick fizzled in the puddle because a relationship of love was turned to one built on nothing more than sex. The first few lines are confusing because at the beginning of a relationship we feel like the other person wants what we want. We try to morph what they say to the mold that we have in our own minds but it just doesn't work. The feeling of confusion was intentional.
It's not a fun read but the depth is there. I give it a 3.4 on the Nortiscale. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
