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POKER FACE
Contributed by
jaeann
on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2003 @ 10:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Throw in the towel
rotten stench of bowel
mirror is so hollow
reflection of mine to follow
given up your will
cannot keep you still
stand in the face
left without a trace
identity's a wash
personality is sloshed
rush her out the door
forget what it was for
trailed only by the tears
hidden little fears
one more day to seethe
last night to really breathe
forward is the sun
backwards comes undone
ace runs the show
no where else to go
king sits mighty high
takes three of them to sigh
queens' smiles are low
she's really your foe
as the jack takes the lead
your brow begins to bead
the wicked game ends
you'll die from those bends
throw down your tricked out cards
you've been dealt a hand too hard
Copyright ©
jaeann
... [
2003-09-03 10:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: POKER FACE
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2003 @ 10:42:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| this is great, i've read it more than once and get more from it each time. love the phrasing, especially "forward is the sun, backwards comes undone". painted_echos |
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Re: POKER FACE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2003 @ 12:12:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
a well woven tapestry
Shari |
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Re: POKER FACE
(User Rating: 1 )
by POOBEAR on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2003 @ 01:02:47 PM AEST
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Wow! I love the way this flows. Very
impressive and powerful.
POOBEAR |
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Re: POKER FACE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th September 2003 @ 05:31:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I said it once I'll say it again you are truly great poet. This poem flows with greatest of ease,and you topic is one I can relate to. Feeling that life rigged your hand to always be a losing hand, and feeling the questions burning in your of wanting to throw in the towel and giving up. Sensational poem! |
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Re: POKER FACE
(User Rating: 1 )
by krismisevski on
Friday, 5th September 2003 @ 02:04:09 AM AEST
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"Throw in the towel
rotten stench of bowel
mirror is so hollow
reflection of mine to follow"
Fantastic beginning! The rhyme sequence loses it for me after that. You set the base, then stick too closely to it. I like the poem. I wish it just went into more of an opinionated flow rather than follow a set pattern. But this is only my small opinion.
Kris |
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