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Little Girl
Contributed by
jaeann
on
Friday, 5th September 2003 @ 09:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Little girl always lost
little girl never free
she was forever being tossed
she always yearned to be
little girl damaged
little girl burned
with all she has she's famished
where could she ever turn
little girl in tears
little girl so cold
left with all the fears
forgot what she was told
little girl broken
little girl shies
all she has unspoken
all the burdened lies
little girl is fading
little girl silently cries
tired of all the trading
compromise this try
little girl is tired
little girl is done
her soul is on fire
she's getting ready to run.
Copyright ©
jaeann
... [
2003-09-05 09:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Little Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Friday, 5th September 2003 @ 10:00:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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my heart goes out to this lost little girl...for although my pain is not the same...I bear a little girl inside who is also lost and seeking comfort
Shari |
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Re: Little Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rage on
Friday, 5th September 2003 @ 10:04:06 AM AEST
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Little girl... kinda makes me wonder if I'm staring at her in the mirror... Very nice write.
Happier Dayz,
~*~RAGE~*~ |
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Re: Little Girl
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th September 2003 @ 12:41:32 AM AEST
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| stay strong, things sneek up on me too. Crow |
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Re: Little Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by krismisevski on
Saturday, 6th September 2003 @ 05:08:08 PM AEST
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"with all she has she's famished
where could she ever turn".......
very nice lines here. i'm not sure about the very last line. it could have a stonger ending.
"she's getting ready to run." seems so vague. rephrasing this could give your work a new life. more of a closure.
-Kris
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