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Bulimic
Contributed by
hazelnut
on
Friday, 26th September 2003 @ 07:45:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
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She flipped through magazines, sighing wistfully at the model's waif-like figure She pinched at her tummy as she appraised herself in the mirror She loved to eat and staying slim was no easy feat So self conscious was she about her body She became depressed and moody
Then a wicked idea came into her mind If she regurgitated her food, wouldn't that be fine? That way, she could taste her food But the food wouldn't go down the way it should So no extra fat would be gained Sweets, chocolate and all that junk food need not be refrained
Her first time, she locked the bathroom door And stood by the toilet bowl, staring at the floor Her stomach was filled after a binge Throwing up should be a cinch She had seen enough girls In her school toilet, bent double, watched them hurl Sticking a finger down her throat She thought of how she'd gloat When she achieved her ideal figure When she could slip into hipsters and the slinkiest numbers, feeling confident and sure Up came the bile and she vomitted Holding her breath at the stench emitted But soon she'll get used to the stink As hours accumulated by the sink Running water, she learnt, covered up sounds of her regurgitating Into her own shell she found herself shrinking She didn't realise she had gone overboard How malnourished she had become, against her protuding ribcage, her skin pulled taut She suffered from fainting spells, her weight continued to drop She wanted to, but didn't know how to stop She was no longer obsessed about her weight But the nausea and the churning of her stomach did not abate Throwing up came naturally after every meal It was almost a routine she successfully concealed Too afraid to seek help or treatment At her own stupidity she would lament
She closed her eyes on her bed, feeling lethargic Exhausted of being bulimic She wondered fleetingly why her parents failed to notice her being unhealthily thin Were they too busy working to care? Too wrapped up in their own skin?
They found her the next day in a coma From which she did not wake, the fight was over As she lay in the hospital ward, she seemed almost peaceful Her face belied all the lies, pain and struggle
Copyright ©
hazelnut
... [
2003-09-26 19:45:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bulimic
(User Rating: 1 ) by tinka_belle on
Friday, 26th September 2003 @ 09:10:55 PM AEST (User
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look i dont want to sound like a ***** or anything but have u ever had bulimia?
coz if u have ud know that its not about being thin
nor is anorexia
its allabout suppressing the things that hurt u
by being in control of what u eat u have that little bit of control over yourself that allows you to keep fighting this thing thats hurting you
and with bulimia when u binge its not "ok if i eat and then throw up its ok coz the food wont actually be inside me" a binge is eating as much food as u can till you feel sick but the food thats going in in your mind isnt food its all the hurt and pain thats going inside you coz someone or something is hurting u and then by throwing it up
its another way of controling the pain the hurt
coz by throwing it all up the evil isnt inside fo you anymore
and for a moment
you actually feel happy
until the adrenilin wears off and ur back where you stared again
and the whole idea of being thin
its not influenced by the models in the magazines
its being thin enough to disapear
if im tiny no one will hurt me
coz they'd be scared i would break....
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Re: Bulimic
(User Rating: 1 ) by hazelnut on
Saturday, 18th October 2003 @ 05:13:49 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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tinka_belle,
true, i never had bulimia before. that was why i used the third person's point of view in my poem. i would like to point out that i have read articles or reports in which eating disorders are caused by body image distortion. one of the contributing factors is the bombardment of images of models, celebs etc...all beautiful and slim. and it doesnt help that there are so many slimming ads popping up in the newspapers[ at least in my country]
however, thanks for widening my perception and enlightening me about another side of bulimia. |
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