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Upon Observing some Birds
Contributed by
scott
on
Saturday, 4th October 2003 @ 06:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
Once I was walking though a field of tallest grass
That was waving gently in the breeze
For a more gorgeous day one could not ask
I thought as the birds chirped merrily in the trees
Then I heard a soft cooing coming from above
And I looked around me in surprise
I spotted a peaceful, vivid white dove
Twas a beautiful sight that met my eyes
Then I walked down by the pond
And sat in the shade of a nearby hedge
And gazed in wonder as two swans
Landed gracefully near the waters edge
I heard a screech come from up high
And I looked up in total awe
As a hawk charged down from the sky
And snatched a mouse up in its claw
Always, from birth, I have been taught
That other animals, at best
Are inferior to humans, Then why I though
Do I feel jealous of that bird in its nest?
And the answer stuck me suddenly
As I watched an eagle soar in the sky
These birds, in their simplicity
Had far more freedom than did I.
Copyright ©
scott
... [
2003-10-04 06:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Upon Observing some Birds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Sunday, 5th October 2003 @ 05:33:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i love nature but poems and pages about nature i just cant get in to, i have to be there.... |
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Re: Upon Observing some Birds
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Friday, 24th October 2003 @ 07:00:15 AM AEST
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Magnificent.
If you don't mind a little constructive criticism, however...
the first stanza is of such refined, elegant quality the latter stanzas don't add to the graceful dance of words.
Secondly, the beat is at moments very difficult to catch.
But still, the contenct is good. I know the feeling. But instead of learning to fly, I'd rather just die. yup. |
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