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asylum of lost love

Contributed by Cancer on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 07:59:16 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



she sat across the room from me
shifting uncomfortably
speaking in awkward spurts
i knew then, that today was the day

usually, she sat next to me
holding me
ignoring the social barrier of my straight jacket
she would run her slim fingers through my hair
and tell me of how much she missed me
how much she wanted me back home
how she knew that, any day now
i'd be out of here
and back home with her

she always carried the conversation
the catatonia of psychosis
and the medication had rendered me mute
and unresponsive

but, i knew that soon enough
it would happen
and it looked like today was the day

shortly after she arrived
the uneasiness in the room
grew too great for her
so she just blurted it out,
"i've met someone new
honey, i'm sorry it's just that..."
right about here, she started crying
"...that, i'm so lonely
i can't wait for you forever
i'll still come and see you, sweetie"
she looked me in the eye as she said this
i heard her gasp
i guess my drug glazed eyes went clear for a moment
she saw inside me
she saw in my eyes that i knew the truth
this was the last time i would ever see her
and she knew it too
but, then i guess my eyes glazed over again
because the shock drained from her face
and she pressed on
"you know i love you
and i always will
but, right now, i need more than you can provide
you understand, don't you?"
she reached out, as if to take my hand
but then pulled back
"anyway, i have to go
we're going out to dinner tonight
but, i'll be back tomorrow
just like always"
i saw the tears return to her
as she tasted her own lie

she stood and hugged me, just like always
but not as tightly as before
then, she kissed me, just like always
but, not on the mouth
her lips brushed my cheek, and that was it
i looked up at her, and once more she saw inside me
i tried to make her hear me
to hear my thoughts
to reach her one last time
"DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS
DON'T FORGET ME IN THIS PLACE
I STILL LOVE YOU
I'M TRYING TO GET BETTER
PLEASE, PLEASE HEAR ME
I LOVE YOU"
she stared at me for a moment
but, i knew she didn't hear the words that i screamed inside
her fingers found my cheek one last time
and she managed a smile beneath her tears
"i love you, sammy" she whispered
and then she turned
and walked away

i never expected to see her again
so when weeks turned to months
and the months to years
her absence did not surprise me
i spent my dwindling days descending further
into the gaping maw of forgotten madness
wondering what became of her
wondering if she married
if she had children

if she ever thought of me

i think that the worst pain
is that the madness is even stealing her memories
for, even when the rest of my mind broke down
i still maintained her image in my mind
remembering every detail about her
and most of all, remembering how much i had loved her

now, i find that her face is blurry
her smile, seems painted on in my head
i can't recall her voice
and her name continually escapes me

my final coherent thoughts
were desperate pleas and wishes
that i could go back
that i could make it all right again
that i could have one more chance
to love her forever




Copyright © Cancer ... [ 2003-10-09 19:59:16]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 08:07:36 PM AEST
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Wow. Excellent, excellent work. The story is fantastic and it is structured so well. Simply amazing.


Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 08:17:19 PM AEST
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brilliance.......i love your work!!!!!!!


Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by lgcmusic on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 08:43:07 PM AEST
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One word...wow. Nothing else to say. What a descriptive story that really draws you in...wonderful. And what an interesting perspective...


Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 08:56:26 PM AEST
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You never cease to amaze me with your poetry it just seems to get more and more intense.
Excellent poem.


Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by Scott on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 09:40:10 PM AEST
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Somewhere between excellent and disturbing....when i was done reading the only word that crossed my mind was a hollow "Damn!!" Good show.


Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 10:41:55 PM AEST
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Chilling agony ... always your words reach deeper than what they actually say on the surface ... finding that part of me that is filled with pain - the absolute frustration of not being able to speak, but to hope the thoughts somehow find the other person - you portrayed it so brilliantly ... every part of this write is so incredibly well done - thank you so much for sharing it ... Jan


Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by Tiffany on Friday, 10th October 2003 @ 12:35:20 AM AEST
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Great poem. I really liked it. Keep writing, I want to see more.


Re: asylum of lost love (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Friday, 10th October 2003 @ 07:57:51 PM AEST
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Roy this was awesome man I found a tear trying to escape as I finished reading this
i spent my dwindling days descending further
into the gaping maw of forgotten madness
those two lines blew me away and i loved the alliteration in the first line. Great poem once again.

Bobo (Joel)




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