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All That She Is
Contributed by
jaeann
on
Tuesday, 14th October 2003 @ 10:37:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
She has a wish of pure love.
She has a need to always feel safe.
She wants to never hurt again.
She grew up way too fast.
She was taught how to be a woman
long before she understood how to
all on her own.
She needs to always have that safety net.
She needs one appreciation source,
one body to give to,
one man to love,
one man to love her back.
She needs all the scars to smooth over.
She needs to learn how to trust and then
to cry.
She has a dream that she's terrified will
never come true and a nightmare that
refuses to disappear.
She feels she remembers so much pain
from the past that it jeopardizes her
present and destroys her future.
She has suffered at the hands of others,
so much malice, anger and psychotic
penance for their sins that she
still cannot breathe freely.
She desires a day she feels such infinite
peace that she still cannot breathe.
She aches to be loved so unconditionally,
so purely by only one person that wants
only her,
the real her.
She's so tired of always being scared,
tired of knowing the outcome simply by
comparison.
She's so terrified of the day she'll feel good
and safe because she knows she'll lose it
in the end.
She wished she was never that vulnerable,
naive, wished she never trusted,
only to feel the inevitable betrayal.
She wished she never heard the vile laughter.
She's never learned to love with her mind
or her heart, only her body.
She's never learned not to take everything
as a rejection, an emotional assault.
She feels so trapped when someone
says they love her
because shortly after that they'll be hurting
her.
She feels such a strong pull towards
self-destruction,
degradation,
the voices telling her all the negative
is all the truth there ever really is.
She aches to be loved for a lifetime,
nurtured,
protected,
challenged and adored.
She would erase her past in a second
to obtain true peace,
erase the violation,
pain and abandonment to just for on day
feel the love,
accept it into her for truth.
She wishes she felt revengeful,
instead only painful regret for things she
could never control.
She wants to never leave the safety net
of the arms of her rescuer,
never feel them inch away from her,
interest gone,
boredom settling,
animosity and resentment clouding over.
She wishes to never now the desire for
anyone else,
never not be desired,
never need a new start
over and over and over again.
Wanting
and
dreaming
and
nightmares
and
peace,
restlessness
and
futility,
painful regrets
and
tortuous past,
needing attention
and
feeling lonely,
aching to love,
aching to be loved,
purely for her.
This is all that she is and hoping to the
fateful angels her patience will survive
until it's time for her
to
hurt
no
more.
Copyright ©
jaeann
... [
2003-10-14 22:37:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: All That She Is
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on
Tuesday, 14th October 2003 @ 10:44:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
You've a generous heart with a knowing soul...something beautiful and wholesome will come your way..dont miss out on it by keeping the gates closed;)
Very personal write..thanks for sharing. |
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Re: All That She Is
(User Rating: 1 )
by mercedes on
Tuesday, 14th October 2003 @ 11:25:08 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| All i can say is wow! this hit so close to home for me. You did an excellent job. |
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Re: All That She Is
(User Rating: 1 )
by hope on
Tuesday, 14th October 2003 @ 11:42:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow..i absolutely felt this one..down to every last word. True...very true |
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Re: All That She Is
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Wednesday, 15th October 2003 @ 12:35:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
You are stronger than you know...this was a very emotional write...pulled me in for the whole roller coaster ride...I wish you the peace you seek...you deserve it
Shari |
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Re: All That She Is
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 15th October 2003 @ 12:08:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| dearest jaeann, cannot tell you how much this moves me, so beautiful, so gently written, as are all your poems, this one is so special, you'll find all those things, big hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: All That She Is
(User Rating: 1 )
by Putteragain on
Wednesday, 15th October 2003 @ 01:44:00 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
might i just say WOW
putter |
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