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Swim
Contributed by
puppy_dog_eyes
on
Friday, 17th October 2003 @ 08:58:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
As I swim close to the shore
I am reminded of how I am swimming through life
Sometimes it is easier to stay in the safety of the shallows
I can put down my feet as the water isn't too deep
I can keep you at a distance, my new found friend
I can view you from the water's edge
I may dip my toes just to see how it feels
Is it safe to go further with this friendship ?
I could swim a little further
Allow myself to become almost submerged in you
Soles of my feet still touching the sand
Not yet ready to finally let go
What kind of sea are you really ?
Are you calm, serene, uplifting ?
Will you let me rest my head on your shoulder
Lay back and float in your warmth ?
Or are you full of tricks?
Will you let me think I am safe
Only to realise you have a darker side to you
Ready to pull me under ?
I do not wish to fight you
Do not wish to be tossed by your strong current
I only want to swim with you
Not drain all my energy wrestling against you
There is only one way to discover you
Kick out my legs and head further from the shore
Now I am in your hands
Do not let me drown.
Copyright ©
puppy_dog_eyes
... [
2003-10-17 08:58:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Swim
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 17th October 2003 @ 09:30:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Oh yes I an relate to this one a lot. The way you wrote this, using the ocean to portray the meaning of the poem, is just amazing. [I think it's a metaphor :S lol. never did do well in english at school]. anyway I know what it's like to be tentative about new friendships as I have had more than my fair share of bad friendships. I enjoyed this poem a lot. Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: Swim
(User Rating: 1 )
by Serendippitty on
Friday, 17th October 2003 @ 11:29:31 AM AEST
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| I enjoyed reading this poem a lot, because I can relate to it. The way you used a metaphor was great, and made it so much more interesting... |
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Re: Swim
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Friday, 17th October 2003 @ 04:56:51 PM AEST
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Lovely write..Great use of the metaphor..
Jenni |
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Re: Swim
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Monday, 20th October 2003 @ 04:50:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I read this again when I was less stressed... and I have to admit..I love it even more.. The analogy used was excellent.... It is really one of the best poems I've read in a long time.. I'm glad I came back to read it...
Jenni |
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