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Death is coming for me
Contributed by
mercedes
on
Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 11:37:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Walking alone down a dark deserted street
No one in sight, shadows lurking around me
My breathing accelerates, my heart races
I know something is there even if I cannot see
It’s a struggle not to run
Have to stay calm, show no fear
I’m in control of my life
Even when death is so near
I have nowhere to run and no one to turn to
No one believes my demons are real
They are phantoms of my imagination
So why is it, there hot breath on my skin I still feel?
The night gets darker, the fog closes in
They are coming closer, my time is almost here
I cannot stop the whimper that escapes my lips
As soon death himself will appear
I sink to the ground, my legs too weak to carry on
I cannot fight that which I cannot see
These demons are here to take my life
If only I was stronger, this would not be
Soon deaths’ hand will wrap around my heart
As I lay my head upon the cold hard ground
My last thoughts are of my family and friends
What will they think when I am finally found?
Copyright ©
mercedes
... [
2003-10-28 23:37:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Death is coming for me
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenheartedfool on
Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 11:44:40 PM AEST
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| I think the poem's great the way it is. Good write. Brokenheartedfool |
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Re: Death is coming for me
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 11:57:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I agree it is great as is but u could have chosen to face your fears..
Very good writing!
I like the part where everyone says they r your imaginations. I understand those thoughts clearly!
If more folks would let go of there antic ideas and listen when someone talks there would be much less suicides and desparation!
You've captured the desparation in a very stong write here!
I give u 2 thumbs up!
peace, joy, luv,
emy
1 |
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Re: Death is coming for me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Undeadsuperstar on
Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 01:25:37 AM AEST
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| personally, and i'm trying to be honest but not brutal.... this seems a bit forced. The meter doesn't flow like poetry, its more like... like rambling. Mad ramblings of the cliche depressed. |
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Re: Death is coming for me
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on
Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 06:07:14 AM AEST
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I THINK THEY WOULD CRY .....
WOW.. MY FRIEND...GOOD WRITE.......
BUT THE CHRISTIAN IN ME WOULD SAY
I REBUKE THOSE DANG DEMONS
AND ASK THE LORD TO HELP ME
AND WHEN THE TIME COMES TO DIE
PEACE AND LOVE WILL BE YOUR UNDERSTANDING......AND DEATH IS A REWARD TO BE WITH YOUR LORD......
BUT GOOD WRITE..TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF....SANDY |
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Re: Death is coming for me
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 02:07:20 PM AEST
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| ramblings are good......and this does have flow.....nothing cliched about anything!!!! great work.....leave it the way it is......leaves the reader thinking the same things you are...... |
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