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You want him but u cnt hav im!!!
Contributed by
Soplea
on
Tuesday, 11th November 2003 @ 12:49:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I see you once, feelings i find,
Now your forever engraved in my mind,
when ur near i stop in time,
i wish you were close i wish u were mine.
i no i cnt have u ur taken already,
bt my feelins so strong my heart beatin steady,
i txt u and tlk, i miss u mre an mre,
my heart when i see you i feel it soar,
through the sky, in the air,
my feelins for u will always be there.
i luv u, i luv u, i want u to no,
il never stop ill never let go,
ill be here for u, me heart always urs,
i jus want u to feel the same and open the doors!
Copyright ©
Soplea
... [
2003-11-11 12:49:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: You want him but u cnt hav im!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Tuesday, 11th November 2003 @ 02:03:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| It's a pretty good poem but, just a hint: poetry is NOT a good place for shorthand or IM slang. Instead of 'i txt u and tlk, i miss u mre an mre', you could try, 'I text you and talk, I miss you more and more' . . . . |
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Re: You want him but u cnt hav im!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Tuesday, 11th November 2003 @ 04:34:03 PM AEST
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I for one did not enjoy reading your poem. I'm sure that it must be good, but with all those words cut short, it took away the meaning of the poem and totally frustrated me in the process.
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Re: You want him but u cnt hav im!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by loopylou on
Tuesday, 11th November 2003 @ 04:38:53 PM AEST
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really good teenage poem...i think you could say maybe you used short hand because you wanted to get across the message it was a poem for young people with ver teenage feelings???
Lou |
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