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Tears Between The Lines
Contributed by
LovingWhispers
on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 08:57:36 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Darkened thoughts consume me,heavy hearted I am lost
Of everything that I held yesterday,I miss our friendship most
Thunder in the distant sky,the echo of my mind
Poetry falls from my eyes,onto pages between lines
Tormented by the memories,of laughter and times spent
When these thoughts should bring a warming smile,they deliver emptiness instead
I grieve within my prison,I'm held captive by your pain
I stare into the starless night,from tears I cant refrain
I'm surrounded and reminded every single day
I'm found guilty in the morning light,and the moon it says the same
I've nowhere to run to,and theres no place to hide
For wherever breath will take me,still I'll be paying deep inside
Darkened thoughts consume me,heavy hearted I am lost
Of everything that I held yesterday,I miss our friendship most
Thunder in the distant sky,the echo of my mind
Poetry falls from my eyes,onto pages between lines
Copyright ©
LovingWhispers
... [
2003-12-04 08:57:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by OpalDragon on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 09:01:58 AM AEST
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very well written I grieve with you for your lost friend
OD |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 09:04:18 AM AEST
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my heart is with you my friend....but things are as they should be for healing...pm me if you need to talk
Shari |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 10:51:28 AM AEST
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Well written. I can feel the pain in this poem. To improve it, however, you might want to try a less jerky and unnatural beat. Secondly, the lost/most couplet doesn't rhyme as well as the rest of the lines in the poem.
Good job.
"Little lying dandelions romp upon the grass;
Making meals of baby seals and interrupting class."
~Eternity's Lyre |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 12:04:09 PM AEST
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My poor friend, I console,
Yet, I too can not control
the tears, memories,
be so happy that they atleast
happened, my dear.
Try to think positively, will help to clear
the tears between the line
or your loving friend divine.
Many warm hugs Sharon.
I love you,
ConSue |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by juliette on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 01:58:01 PM AEST
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Incredible! I love that line "onto pages between lines". I love everything about it - it's beautiful. It reminds me of the fool I always write about who is doing real time, in a prison he built just for himself. I'd love to send him your words. Thanks so much for sharing!
juliette |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by apollo on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 02:06:49 PM AEST
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| beautiful, that was so nice, im sure your friend knows how much you miss your friendship. that was a really inspriational poem, please keep on posting, i want more. |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 04:23:12 PM AEST
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| Tears are right I could feel the pain in this poetry! Great job.Christina |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 04:28:27 PM AEST
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Awww sweetie..I feel your pain..it is something I imagine all the time..if I were to lose my best friend.... and wouldnt wish on my worst enemy..(Not that I have enemiess)
Seriously tho...I hope the healing is swift..and that you always remain frends...
Hugs
Jenni
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 04:43:20 PM AEST
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This is unbelievably beautiful, and heartbreakingly sad. Rest assured, I am certain your friendship is a lasting one. Sometimes we all just have to let the dust of life settle for a while.
Words of wisdom from the Drunk
Three_Blind_Mice |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th December 2003 @ 04:46:22 PM AEST
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| words from the heart need no rhyme, or form. They simply need direction. I do hope your friend hears this beautiful free poem. |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 5th December 2003 @ 02:36:52 PM AEST
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| dearest sharon, wonderful expression, maybe all is not lost n' somehow you can remain friends..... thinking of you:) warm huggers n' love, nessa |
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Re: Tears Between The Lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Saturday, 6th December 2003 @ 12:50:03 PM AEST
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| Thank god Signor Liar there doesn't know ***** about reading others poetry. Yours as always is beautiful even when it makes one weep. I won't make bad comment on it's poems though. I wouldn't stoop to their level. Yours always come from the heart. Lovely. |
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