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A Wish Neglected
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Tuesday, 9th December 2003 @ 05:54:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Between the feelings I am torn
Hate and love, I scream and mourn
I hear this dirge, it is my song
For times i'm weak when I need be strong
For every time I cry alone
For every sin I can't atone
For the mourning dove who sings his song
With each passing day I further long
For being late to express freely
I'd be late for my own eulogy
For all the words I can't revoke
For the fallen mirror my hand broke
Crave and lust, yearn and desire
To burn inside with raging fire
Hope and covet, my last wish and first
To end this hunger, to quench this thirst
For each mistake that I have made
For every tear that would cascade
For the mourning dove who sings his song
With each passing day I further long
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2003-12-09 05:54:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Wish Neglected
(User Rating: 1 )
by irshprnss on
Tuesday, 9th December 2003 @ 07:13:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great Write! I like how it flowed from verse to verse.
"I hear this dirge, it is my song
For times i'm weak when I need be strong
For every time I cry alone
For every sin I can't atone"
I really liked this verse.
diana |
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Re: A Wish Neglected
(User Rating: 1 )
by norm on
Tuesday, 9th December 2003 @ 10:43:52 AM AEST
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Throw off this dirge of self abuse
Clearly look, not look obtuse,
For sadness there is no excuse,
I think sometimes it's pure disuse |
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Re: A Wish Neglected
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Tuesday, 9th December 2003 @ 03:30:10 PM AEST
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Neglect is a terrible thing, yet what would the world come to without it?
Another remarkable piece.
Keep writing or else,
-Eve. |
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Re: A Wish Neglected
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Tuesday, 9th December 2003 @ 06:11:57 PM AEST
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VS, This was another fine poem of lamenting and woe,
I appreciated the last line, which set the whole poem a tone. Resigned a tiny bit....this could be a wonderful song of our time. Yes, VS, this was smooth, and had content in the rhyme...
I really enjoyed it and could understand!
Warm Poetic Love,
Lovingcritters
ConSue |
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Re: A Wish Neglected
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 15th December 2003 @ 06:39:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. I LOVED this one. Impressive and poignant.
-~Nora~- |
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